Dresses Jokes

Why do blondes not wear polka dot dresses?
They always try to connect-the-dots.

A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night goes to his mother with the following question: "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure."The son thanks his mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. "Dad why are wedding dresses white?"The father looks at his son in surprise and says... "Son, all household appliances come in white!"

A son asked his mother the following question:
"Mum, why are wedding dresses white?"
The mother replies,
"Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."
The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his father.
"Dad, why are wedding dresses white?"
The father says,
"Son, all household appliances come in white."

Most all bachelors have been the victims of a blind date.
Numerous well meaning friends and relatives are always willing to "fix up" unsuspecting bachelors with girls whom they describe as "perfect for you".
However, from the description given, it is difficult to imagine what these girls may be like. After considerable research, as a public service, I have attempted to translate some of these descriptive
phrases into plain English:
dandy little house keeper:
She has been married three times and kept all the houses
fine character:
She's ugly
knows how to handle money:
She's a spendthrift and great at spending yours
spotless reputation:
She's ugly
strong family ties:
She's a Mafia Princess
loves children:
She's pregnant and needs a husband
wonderful personality:
She's fat
great sense of humor:
She's fat and will laugh at anything you say
the outdoor type:
She hunts, fishes, chews more...

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.