Drilling Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman dies and goes to Heaven. While St. Peter is processing her, she hears a man screaming out in pain. She glances into the room and sees them drilling holes in the man's shoulders to fasten his wings.
Then, she hears a woman screaming. Again she glances into the room and sees them drilling holes in the woman's head to fasten her halo.
"I've changed my mind," the woman exclaims. "I don't want to go to Heaven. I'll go to the other place."
"I don't think you want to go down there," St. Peter replies. "They rape and sodomize you there."
"I don't care," she says. "At least I already have the holes for that!"

A woman dies and goes to heaven. As St. Peter is processing her,she hears a woman screaming in pain. She looks in the room and sees them drilling holes in the woman's shoulders to fasten the wings. Then she hears a man screaming and sees them drilling holes in his head to fasten the halo.

"I do not want to go to heaven", she tells St. Peter. "I'll go to the other place."

"You want to go hell", he replies. "They rape and sodomize you down there"

"I don't care", she answers. "At least I already have holes for that."

Drilling her students for a test, the history teacher asked if anyone could recite Washington's farewell address. Little TJ raised his hanal and replied, "Heaven."

A woman dies and goes to heaven. As St. Peter is processing her, she hears a woman screaming in pain. She looks in the room and sees them drilling holes in the woman's shoulders to fasten the wings. Then she hears a man screaming and sees them drilling holes in his head to fasten the halo.
"I do not want to go to heaven", she tells St. Peter. "I'll go to the other place."
"You don't want to go there", he replies. "They rape and sodomize you down there."
"I don't care", she answers. "At least I already have holes for that."

According to officials in Utah, rescuers trying to find six miners inside a collapsed coal mine will drill a THIRD hole in attempt to locate the men.

I'll tell ya, it's always the same thing. You drill one hole, then the second hole. Then it's just a matter of time before you're drilling that third hole. It's just like sex with Paris Hilton.