Drinks Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "if you can make that horse over there laugh you can have free drinks for the rest of the night". So he says "ok" and walks over to the horse and whispers something in his ear and he starts laughing and the bartender gives him free drinks for the rest of the night. The next night the same guy comes back in and the bartender says "if you can make that horse over there cry i will give you free drinks for the rest of the night. So he walks over there and does something and the horse starts crying, and the bartender gives him free drinks. Then the bartender asks what the man did to make the horse laugh and what he did to make him cry. The man says "To make him laugh I told him I had a bigger dick than he does and to make him cry I showed him".

A man walk in to a bar and says i want 14 beers the bartinder says you can only have 7 at a time the man says what ever give me 7 he drinks thim then he says give me 7 more he drinks thim to he says im so f**cking drunk i can hump a cow the bartender says go sit in the corner! than a nother person comes in he said i want 14 beers he drinks thim he says im so f**cking drunk i can hump a cow the guy in the corner says moo!!

A young businessman was seated next to an elderly priest on an airplane. Having a minor technical problem at the gate and the flight being delayed, the Captain apologized and announced that the airline would be buying a free round of drinks.
When the charming and very attractive flight attendant came by, the businessman ordered a double scotch. Then she asked the priest if he would like a drink.
"Oh, no thank you," replied the priest. "I would rather commit adultery than drink alcohol."
Halting in mid-swallow and dribbling scotch down his front, the businessman quickly replaced his drink on the beverage cart and replied, "Excuse me, miss, I didn't know I had a choice."

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?
She heard the drinks were on the house.

AGE OF DRINKS 1 to 3-Milk 3 to 5- cerelac, 5 to 16- horlicks, 17 to 25- beer, 26 to 45- whisky, 46 to 75- tinic, after 75 anytime THULSI theerta.

A man in a bar has a couple of beers and the bartender tells him he owes $4.' 'But I paid, don't you remember?'' says the customer.' 'Okay,'' says the bartender,' 'if you said you paid, you did.'' The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid. The second man then ruses in, orders a beer and later pulls the same stunt. The barkeep replies,' 'If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it.'' Soon the customer goes into the street, sees an old friend, and tells him how to get free drinks.

The man hurries into the bar and begins to drink highballs when suddenly, the bartender leans over and says,' 'You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in the nose.''' 'Don't bother me with your troubles,'' the final patron responds.' 'Just give me my change and I'll be more...

Pepsi tipped off Coke to the fact that someone was trying to sell them Coke's secrets.
Pepsi commented, "Thanks, but our drinks all taste exactly the same. We just use different packaging and slogans, much like Democrats and Republicans."

Conclusion: drink green things.