Drop Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do you get if you drop a piano on a teams defence? A flat back four!

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor.


Q: What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A: A flat major.

Q: Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright?
A: Because it makes a much bigger kaboom when dropped over a cliff.

Q: Why was the piano invented?
A: So the musician would have a place to put his beer.

The Good Housekeeping Way #1
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice-cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.
The Real Women's Way:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway

The Good Housekeeping Way #2
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The Real Women's Way:
Buy Deb mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

The Good Housekeeping Way #3
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake
The Real Women's Way:
The Cheese Cake Shop sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

The Good Housekeeping Way #4
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.
The Real Women's Way:
If you over more...

During WWII a fighter pilot was shot down over Germany and he was captured by the Nazis. He was hurt pretty bad so he the German doctor amputated his arm. He had a request that they would drop his arm over his base in England. So the Germans did.
Then next week they amputated his other arm and he asked for the same thing. So the Germans did.
The next week they amputated his leg and he again asked for them to drop it over his base in England.
The German doctor replied, "Nein, Ve do dis no more!" The pilot asked why not, and the German answered, "Ve tink you trying to escape!"

1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbows, just as
if you were giving a baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "That's a nice
kitty." Drop pill into its mouth.
2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.
3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down with left
hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its
mouth with right forefinger.
4. Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist impulse
to get new cat.)
5. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in
bottle-feeding position, sit down on edge of chair, fold your torso
over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat's
mouth by lifting the upper jaw and pop the pill in -- quickly. Since
your head is down by your knees, you won't be able to see what you're
doing. That's just as well.
6. Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in more...

An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, "Englander, your arm is infected with gangrene vee must cut it off." The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing?" The German replied, "Ya, that vill not be a problem." A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over England like you did last time?""Ya, that vill be done," says the German. The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before?" The German replies, "Vhy, ya." The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well," begins the Brit, "could you just..." The German snapped, "No! We think you are trying to more...

Intelligence Test Instructions:Write each of your answers down, it makes a difference! You will be allowed 10 minutes to complete the test. Write your answers in the spaces provided. Are you ready? What is the time? Start.1) Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days? ____________________2) If a doctor gives you 3 pills and tells you to take one pill every half hour, how long would it be before all the pills had been taken? ____________________3) I went to bed at eight o'clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine o'clock in the morning. How many hours sleep would I get before being awoken by the alarm? ____________________4) Divide 30 by half and add ten. What do you get? ____________________5) A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many live sheep were left? ___________________6) If you had only one match and entered a COLD and DARK room, where there was an oil heater, an oil lamp and a candle, which would more...