Drop Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Top 10 Least Desirable Fortunes in a Fortune Cookie: Everyone's meal today is on you! The' special sauce' came from the floor! Guess what our special' drop' was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal!! Your colon will self destruct in five seconds. A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time. Your dog Sparky... he's no longer missing. See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies. We know where you live. You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes. MSG? NO!! Ebola Virus.... maybe

The Top 10 Least Desirable Fortunes in a Fortune Cookie We know where you live. You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes. Everyone's meal today is on you! The "special sauce" came from the floor! Guess what our special "drop" was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal! Your colon will self destruct in five seconds. A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time. Your dog Sparky...he's no longer missing. See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies. MSG? NO! Ebola Virus....maybe

* Outside a muffler shop: No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming. * In a dry cleaner’s emporium: Drop your pants here. * On a desk in a reception room: We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left. ” * In a veterinarian’s waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay! * At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be. * In a Beauty Shop: Dye now! * In a restaurant window: Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up. * Inside a bowling alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop. * In a cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.

If you drop this book in a pig pen, what should you do? Take the words out of their mouths.

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,' 'May I borrow a highlighter?''
2.' 'Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that.''
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4.' 'Hmmm, I've never seen that color before.''
5.' 'Damn, this water is cold.''
6. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
7.' 'Now how did that get there?''
8.' 'Hummus. Reminds me of hummus.''
9. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,''Whoa! Easy boy!!''
10.' ' Interesting.... more sinkers than floaters''
11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say,''Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
12.' 'C'mon Mr. Happy! more...

A husband suspects his wife is having an affair. He needs to go on a business trip for several days, so he decides to set a trap for her. He puts a bowl of milk under the bed. From the bed springs, he suspends a spoon. He has it calibrated so that her weight on the bed will not drop the spoon into the milk. But, if there is any more weight than that, the spoon will drop into the milk and he will detect it upon his return home.

He comes home several days later. The first thing he does is reaches under the bed and retrieves the bowl. The bowl is full of butter.

A man in a bar walks up to the bartender and says "I will bet you
$100 that if you set a shot glass down at the opposite side of the bar and I stand at this end of it I can pee in it without getting a single drop on the bar!"
The bartender thinks for a moment, and then finally slaps down $100. He goes and sets up the shot glass at the opposite end of the bar. The man climbs up on top of the bar, pulls down his pants and proceeds to pee all over the counter and the bar patrons without making a single drop into the shot glass.
Although the bartender is disgusted he says "Well it looks like you lost a hundred on that one!"
The man smiles smiles, points to a few stunned men at a table and says "that's okay, I bet those guys $200 that you'd let me climb on top of the bar and pee on everthing"