Drop Jokes / Recent Jokes

People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet.Over the years you may have noticed that most two year olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good Luck !!! DAY ONE:Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly.Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor.Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat more...

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base? A flat major.

What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg? It eggs-plodes!

Bill, Hillary and Vice President Gore were on their way back to Washington on Air Force One, when Bill said " I'd like to drop a $100 bill out of the plane and make one person very happy".
Hillary thought for a moment then replied "I`d rather drop ten, $10 bills out and make ten people very happy".
To which Vice President Gore said " I would drop a hundred $1 bills out and make a hundred people very happy".

The pilot then spoke up and said " Why don't all three of you jump out and make 250 million people very happy?"

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. After he gets his beer
he calls the bartender, and asks him if he's a gambling man.
"It depends," replies the bartender.
"What if I told that I have $100 that says I can bite my own
ear?"
"Bulls@#t!"
So the man takes out his false teeth, and clamps them onto his
ear.
The bartender was pretty P. O. d when he saw that, but he still
gave him the $100.
Then the man tells the bartender that it really wasn't fair of
him to make that bet, since the bartender didn't realize that he had
false teeth, so he offers the bartender a chance to win back his money.
He offers the bartender double or nothing that he can bite his own eye
without removing his false teeth.
"Sure," agrees the bartender, thinking to himself,' there's no
way anybody can bite their own eye.'
Then the man proceeds to remove his glass eye, and bites it.
The more...

A man walked up to a hooker and asked if she could show him how to have sex, she asked how much will you pay me, and he said, "
all i have is a $
1.80"
. "
Alright then,"
she said, placing 10cents on his right shoulder, telling him to drop and lift the shoulder rapidly, he did, she then placed 20cents on his left shoulder and told him to drop and lift it rapidly but going up when the right shoulders going down, and vice versa. He did She then placed 50cents in his ass cheeks, she then asked the man to bob his bum back and forth, after doing the shoulder movements, he did. She then placed $1 on his dick and asked him to do the bum bobbing again, so he did. Then she said now put them all together and practice for 10 minutes, in this order, right shoulder left shoulder bum and dick, R/shoulder 10cents, L/shoulder 20cents, bum bobbing 50cents and the dick a dollar, while saying, 10cents 20cents 50cents a dollar!, 10cents 20cents 50cents a dollar! more...