Drove Jokes / Recent Jokes

Into town I drove my tank
I was gonna rob a bank.
My money was running really low
As I got near I shouted "bank ho!"
Drove a hole right through the wall
Found I was in a shoppin' mall.
I 'poligized'n left through the hole.
I was definitely not on a roll.
I snuck a look at my GPS™
Blew up a truck labeled HESS™.
Then I proceeded towards the bank
Oh how dearly I love my tank.
Headed towards the Eastern wall
Ran a kid over, like a doll.
With a push and a heave, the wall broke.
The button "fire" I got ready to poke.
Oh so fun to rob a bank
'cept my hair was pretty lank.
Wouldn't believe how hot it was there,
Humidity is bad for your hair.
Shot down the security,
Their defense was very measly.
Then I headed towards the main vault,
Abruptly my tank came to a halt.
"Out of gas!" I exclaimed.
Hopped out but a guard I had maimed,
He took out a big gun and more...

221. What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla? Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do...


222. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on here.


223. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well! " and turned around an drove home.

On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.


224. How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand.


225. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"


226. A blonde was walking more...

One day I recieved a letter from grandma... The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and more...

George and God
George wanted to perform a leap of faith to prove to his friends that God does exist, so they all drove up to nearby Mount Sarcasm. At the top of the plateau they stopped and all got out and George says I will prove to you once and for all that God is real.
The friends all look at each other and laugh... one guy says Soooooo, let me get this straight...ya gonna jump of this mountain with no parachute and hope that this almighty is gonna catch ya?
Yes says George full of confidence.
The friends all laugh louder this time and goad George on to do the jump. One guy by the name of Sid says Hey George, since ya gonna die, can I have ya boots?
George sneered at the remark, ran towards the edge of the mountain and leapt off.
On the way down he gets very disconcerted that God had not shown up yet to save him and soon realises that he is going to die any second. His last vocal was OH, GOD HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee...thud!
The friends looked over more...

husbund: Judge, jury people in the courtroom before i got married my wife was loving caring and hung onto my every word. But once we got married my wife became a raging alcholic she drove off all my friends constantly made fun of wait problem and became violent no matter where we were i went all over the house to try and get away from her aggresivness untill she drove me into the cellar, my last place to hide. But one night she came down drunk like never before and i snaped i hit her again again and again untill she was dead.
Wife: what are u doing down there in the cellar
Man: just practising dear just practising

A blonde was driving back from the mall when there was a terrible hail storm. Huge hail stones the size of golf balls pelted her car leaving it full of dents.
She drove to the body shop and asked what she should do. The body man explained what needed to be done and that it would cost at least $4000 to repair.
She said that was too much and wasn't there some other way to fix it?
The body man decided to have a little fun and said "Well you could blow into the tail pipe real hard and they might pop back out!"
She decided to give it a try before spending that much money. So she drove home and was in the garage with her lips wrapped around the exhaust pipe when her blonde neighbor came over to visit.
"What are you doing!" she shrieked thinking the worst and thankful that she may have just prevented her friend from committing suicide.
"I'm blowing into the tailpipe real hard to pop all these dents out of my car" explained the first more...

221. What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla? Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do... 222. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on here. 223. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well! " and turned around an drove home. On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms. 224. How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand. 225. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?" 226. A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when more...