Drug Jokes / Recent Jokes

Poll shows most adults on prescription drugs. As a result, the "Drug Free Workplace" policy has been amended to the "Illegal Drugs Free Workplace" policy.
Since the word document has a grammar check, the title was automatically changed to the "Illegal Drugs Are Free Workplace" policy.
Remember, Vote for Gary and get a ManFree

A man comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, "Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?""Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!" announces a proudphysician, "They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, thatdoes the trick! You take some pills, and your problems are history."So the doctor gives the man a prescription and sends him on his merryway. A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on thestreet. "Doctor, Doctor!" exclaims the man excitedly, "I've got tothank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful! I've had sexfourteen times in eight days!""Well, I'm glad to hear that" says the pleased physician, "What doesyour wife think about it?""Wife?" asks the man, "I haven't even been home yet!"

A Polak goes to a drug store to buy condoms for a big date that he has. The clerk says, "That`ll be $2.59 plus tax." "What?" exclaims the Pole. "They don`t stay up by themselves?"

IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS Men, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from girl. Good girls out there, please forward this message to your guy friends. Girlfriends, take heed! There is a new drug that is in liquid form. The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to induce their male victims to have sex with them. The shocking news is that the drug is available virtually anywhere! It goes by the street name "Beer". All girls have to do is buy a "Beer" or two for almost any guy and then simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered literally helpless against such tactics.

The FDA is holding hearings on whether to expand warning labels on anti-depressants due to risks of suicidal behavior.
Lawyers for the major drug companies say all that is required is closer monitoring of patients.


In a related development, company lawyers also urged the FDA to speed up approval of a new drug designed to combat paranoia.

Although scheduled for all-night duty at the station, a police officer was relieved of duty early and arrived home at 3AM, a few hours ahead of schedule.
Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, quietly crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed when his sleepy wife sat up and said, "Sweetheart, I have a horrible headache. Would you mind getting me some aspirin from the all-night drug store?"
"Sure, honey," he replied. Feeling his way across the room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.
When he entered, the pharmacist looked up in surprise and asked, "Hey, aren't you Office Fields?"
"Yes, I am," replied the officer.
"Then why are you wearing the Fire Chief's uniform?" the druggist asked.

Recent Generations Compared:
1940 generation 1965 generation 1990 generation
_______________ _______________ _______________
International Defeat of Hitler, Opposed Vietnam Changed channel
Achievement Communism War to MTV
Judicial Legal system should Legal system should Legal system should
idea support society change society destroy society
Technological Moon landing Personal computer Beeper, car alarm
highlight
Highbrow Classical Jazz Easy listening
Music
Lowbrow Big bands Rock Rap
Music
Civil rights Martin Luther King Malcolm X Damian Williams
leader
Hero Eisenhower John Kennedy Madonna
Economic Raise 60's generation Develop Support 60's
achievement Sophisticated generation
Tastes retirement
Fav' drug Cigarettes Marijuana Crack
Drug most Marijuana Crack Cigarettes
hated
Economic Work hard - get ahead Let your parents/ Prepare for employment
philosophy government support at more...