Drugs Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two men are in court on drug charges. The judge says, "If, over the weekend, you can persuade enough people to give up drugs, I'll let you two off.

A new book entitled "My Booky Wook" is a memoir that details a comedian's addictions to sex, drugs, and stand-up comedy. "I hope it's a best seller," says author Ray Ellin.

"I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast."

I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said,

"You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the 1st one, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this...

. .. O... o

. .. and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," said the judge.

"And you, how did you do?", more...

I don't do drugs.
I get the same effect just standing up fast.

"Psst, c'mere," said the shifty-eyed man wearing a long black trenchcoat, as he beckoned me off the rainy street into a damp dark alley. I followed.

"What are you selling?" I asked.

"Geometrical algebra drugs."

"Huh!?"

"Geometry drugs. Ya got your uppers, your downers, your sidewaysers, your inside-outers..."

"Stop right there," I interrupted. "I've never heard of inside-outers."

"Oh, man, you'll love' em. Makes you feel like M. C. ever-lovin' Escher on a particularly weird day."

"Go on..."

"OK, your inside-outers, your arbitrary bilinear mappers, and here, heh, here are the best ones," he said, pulling out a large clear bottle of orange pills.

"What are those, then?" I asked.

"Givens transformers. They'll rotate you about more planes than you even knew more...