Drugs Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said,
"You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."
Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the 1st one, "How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this...
...O...o
...and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," said the judge.
"And you, how did you do?", he asked the second boy, "Well, your honor, more...
Jason Robertson, 26, and Thomas Valliere, 24, two traveling Canadians had been doing a bit of drinking when they decided to buy some cocaine to liven up their island vacation.
Having gotten a number from a local, Jason called, only to be told it was the wrong number. Not one to give up easily Jason called the number again insisting it was correct and that he wanted to buy some cocaine.
Unfortunately for Roberston the number he had called (twice) was to the cell phone of Jeff Jackson, deputy chief of the combined Police and Customs Drugs Task Force for the Cayman Islands. After the second call an undercover policeman telephoned Robertson back to set up the sale.
When he met the pair and handed over the cocaine - actually nondairy coffee creamer -- police swooped in. Robertson and Valliere were fined $1, 000 but since they had failed to actually buy cocaine, they were not charged with possession.
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said,"You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the 1st one, "How did you do over the weekend?""Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this... O...o...and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," said the judge."And you, how did you do?", he asked the second boy, "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give more...
Psst, c'mere, said the shifty-eyed man wearing a long black trenchcoat, as he beckoned me off the rainy street into a damp dark alley. I followed."What are you selling?" I asked."Geometrical algebra drugs.""Huh!?""Geometry drugs. Ya got your uppers, your downers, your sidewaysers, your inside-outers...""Stop right there," I interrupted. "I've never heard of inside-outers.""Oh, man, you'll love 'em. Makes you feel like M.C. ever-lovin' Escher on a particularly weird day.""Go on...""OK, your inside-outers, your arbitrary bilinear mappers, and here, heh, here are the best ones," he said, pulling out a large clear bottle of orange pills."What are those, then?" I asked."Givens transformers. They'll rotate you about more planes than you even knew existed.""Sounds gross. What about those bilinear mappers?""There's a whole variety of them. Here's one you'll love - they more...
Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.
The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."
Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one,
"How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"
"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd guy)
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 more...
Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.
The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."
Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"
"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd guy)
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people more...