Duane Jokes

Chris asks his dad to explain the difference between irritation, aggravation, and frustration.
His father picks up the phone and dials a random number. When the phone is answered, he asks, "May I speak to Duane, please?"
"There's no Duane here," the person who answered the phone says.
His father hangs up. "That, son, is irritation," he says. He picks up the phone again, dials the same number and asks for Duane a second time.
"I told you, there's no Duane here!" shouted the person who answered the phone. "If you call here again, I will report you to the police!"
His father hangs up and says, "That, son, is aggravation."
"Then what's frustration, Dad," Chris asks.
His father picks up the phone and dials the same number a third time. "Hi, this is Duane. Have there been any calls for me?" he asks casually.

In a bold step to keep pace with the industry leaders, the nation's third largest drugstore chain, Rite Aid Corp., announced today it will purchase the U.S. Eckerd and Brooks pharmacies.
Not to outdone, Duane Reade spokeman Mchael Toblin also announced that NYC's ubiquitous pharmacy will now speed up their plan of turning every store in Manhattan into a Duane Reade.
The plan should be completed by next Tuesday.

Duane rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on
the group mailbox. While he is there, an attractive young lady comes out of the
apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Duane smiles at the young lady
and she strikes up a conversation with him.
As they talk, her robe slips open, and it's quite obvious that she has nothing
on underneath. Poor Duane breaks out into a sweat trying to maintain eye
contact. After a few minutes, she places her hand on his arm and says, "Let's go
in my apartment, I hear someone coming..."
He goes with her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she leans
against it allowing her robe to fall off completely. Being completely nude, she
purrs at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"
The flustered, embarrassed Duane stammers, clears his throat several times, and
finally squeaks out, "Oh, it's got to be your ears!"
She's more...