Dublin Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in the bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks, "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds, "You don't say. I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of course," replies the second man, and they both pour back their drinks.
Curios, the first man then asks, "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin!" The men both continue drinking.
Curiosity strikes again and the first man asks, "What school did you go to?"
"St. Mary's," replied the second man. "I graduated in' 62."
"This is unbelievable," the first man says. "I went to St. more...

A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.
"Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury 20 of them.

By Terry Jones (of Monty Python)
February 20, 2002
Times Observer

To prevent terrorism by dropping bombs on Iraq is such an obvious idea that I can't think why no one has thought of it before. It's so simple. If only the UK had done something similar in Northern Ireland, we wouldn't be in the mess we are in today. The moment the IRA blew up the Horseguards' bandstand, the Government should have declared its own War on Terrorism. It should have immediately demanded that the Irish government hand over Gerry Adams. If they refused to do so - or quibbled about needing proof of his guilt - we could have told them that this was no time for prevarication and that they must hand over not only Adams but all IRA terrorists in the Republic. If they tried to stall by claiming that it was hard to tell who were IRA terrorists and who weren't, because they don't go around wearing identity badges, we would have been free to send in the bombers.

It is well known that more...

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in' 62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in' 62, too!" About that time in comes more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Dublin!
Dublin who?
Dublin up with laughter!

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course, ” comes the reply.
The first man then asks: “Where are you from? ”
“I’m from Ireland, ” replies the second man.
The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have another round to Ireland. ”
“Of course, ” replies the second man.
I’m curious, the first man then asks: “Where in Ireland are you from? ”
“Dublin, ” comes the reply.
“I can’t believe it, ” says the first man. “I’m from Dublin too! Let’s have another drink to Dublin. ”
“Of course, ” replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: “What school did you go to? ”
“Saint Mary’s, ” replies the second man, “I graduated in ‘62. ”
“This is unbelievable! ”, the first man says. “I went to Saint Mary’s and I graduated in ‘62, too! ”
About that more...

Three jokes all related to the recent Clinton visit to Ireland.

Joke 1
On his recent trip to Dublin, Bill Clinton walked down Moor Street. For those of you that don't know Dublin, Moor Street has a large population of street fruit sellers.
Bill goes up to one of these fruitsellers and asks for a dozen oranges. He is given his bag of oranges, pays his money and walks off.
A liitle way down the road he looks in the bag and discovers he only has 11. He goes back to remonstrate: Bill: "How many Oranges do I get in a dozen in Ireland?"
Street Seller: "12 sir"
Bill: "But I've only got 11!"
Street Seller: "That's right, one was bad so I threw it away for you!"

Joke 2
Prior to Bill's visit to Ireland the CIA and Secret Service wanted to ensure everything was perfectly safe, so they trained a special agent in every known dialect of Irish Gaelic, and sent him on a short tour of the country.
He more...