"Bill Clinton's visit to Ireland (rated)" joke

Three jokes all related to the recent Clinton visit to Ireland.

Joke 1
On his recent trip to Dublin, Bill Clinton walked down Moor Street. For those of you that don't know Dublin, Moor Street has a large population of street fruit sellers.
Bill goes up to one of these fruitsellers and asks for a dozen oranges. He is given his bag of oranges, pays his money and walks off.
A liitle way down the road he looks in the bag and discovers he only has 11. He goes back to remonstrate: Bill: "How many Oranges do I get in a dozen in Ireland?"
Street Seller: "12 sir"
Bill: "But I've only got 11!"
Street Seller: "That's right, one was bad so I threw it away for you!"

Joke 2
Prior to Bill's visit to Ireland the CIA and Secret Service wanted to ensure everything was perfectly safe, so they trained a special agent in every known dialect of Irish Gaelic, and sent him on a short tour of the country.
He starts of in Donnegal, goes into a bar and asks for a pint of lager and a large vodka in perfect Donnegal Irish. He's served his drinks, has a chat, still in Irish, with some locals and leaves a happy man.
His next stop is Galway and he goes through the same process, but this time in perfect Galway Irish and leaves happy.
The next stop is Cork. He goes into the bar and asks for his drinks in perfect Cork Irish.
The barman serves the drinks and says: "You speak good Irish for an American"
Special Agent: "How can you tell?"
Barman: "Your'e the first black man we've ever had in this bar!"

Joke 3
While in Belfast Bill visited a bar. In the bar are the barman and one old feller sipping his pint of Guinness.
Bill goes upto the bar and says: "I'd like 3 pints of Guinness, a dozen oysters, and 3 large whiskeys"
Barman: "That's an unusual order"
Bill: "Three Reasons: I like it. Now I'm president - I can afford it. It puts lead in my pencil" So the barman serves it up, Bill pays, eats, drinks and leaves. At this point the old feller sitting in the corner gets up and goes to the bar.
Old feller: "Can I have the same as Bill?"
Barman: "No!"
Old feller; "Why not?"
Barman: "Three reasons: You wouldn't like it. You can't afford it. You can't fucking write!"