Dubya Jokes / Recent Jokes
One night George Bush awakens from a fitfull sleep to find himself visited by the ghost of George Washington. Dubya begs of Washington's spirit, "Tell me: As president, what's the best thing I can do for my country?"
"That's easy," replies Washington's Ghost. "Set an honest and honorable example, just like I did." And with that he was gone.
On the next night George Bush awakens from a fitfill sleep to find himself visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. Duby begs of Jefferson's spirit, "Tell me: As president, what's the best thing I can do for my country?"
"That's easy," replies Jefferson's Ghost. "Cut taxes and streamline the federal government, just like I did." And with that he was gone.
On the third night George Bush awakens from a fitfull sleep to find himself visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Dubya begs of Lincoln's spirit, "Tell me: As president, what's the best thing I can do for my more...
Editor's Note: These are, naturally, from the era of the Bush administration...
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Draft The Bush Twins
Don't Mess With Mesopotamia
War Is SO 20th Century
When Bush Comes To Shove
Brains Not Bombs
War Is A Dick Thing, Peace Is A Heart Thing
George Dubya: Weapon Of Mass Distraction
Beat The Bushes For Peace
Weapons Of Mass Destruction: Look Under The Bushes
Drop Bush, Not Bombs
Bombing For Peace Is Like F*cking For Virginity
Evolve! Work For A Non-violent Future
If War Is The Answer, We're Asking The Wrong Question
Killing Innocent People Is The Problem, Not The Solution
Save America, Spare Iraq, Make Texas Take Him Back
Real Patriots Drive Hybrids
Drop Names, Not Bombs
Who Would Jesus Bomb?
Stop Mad Cowboy Disease
George Bush more...
George W. Bush, Bill Clinton and Al Gore all arrive in heaven where an angel meets them. "All of you must cross this river and we shall judge how much you have sinned based upon how far you sink," says the angel.
Dubya goes first and sinks up to his neck, but makes it across. As he looks back he sees Al Gore walking on the water.
"What gives?" Dubya whines to the angel. "He's sinned just as much as I have."
"He's standing on Bill's shoulders!" replies the angel.
Three young college students are on vacation in Washington, DC. One day they are walking together past the White House when they hear the voice of a man crying out, "Help, Help."
Quickly, they respond to the call by leaping over the White House fence, and by following the cries, they eventually come upon George Dubya, drowning in the White House swimming pool. In an heroic rush, they pull him from the pool, then give him CPR, clearly saving his life.
After a few minutes, Dubya says to them, "Well, boys, today you saved my life! And I am willing to give each of you any wish you desire, as long as it is within my power as President!"
The first fellow thinks for a few seconds then says, "I've always wanted to go to West Point. Can you get me an appointment?"
"You bet!" said the President, "I'll sign the papers this afternoon!"
Then the second fellow said, "I've always wanted to go to Annapolis. Can you get me more...
His closest advisors came to visit Dubya at the White House one evening and found him slamming down beers and whooping it up. They were astonished since he had given up drinking years ago. When asked why he was off the wagon, Dubya replied that he was celebrating finishing a jigsaw puzzle. They smiled and told him that wasn't much of an accomplishment. "Ah, but you're wrong. I did it in record time." When asked what that record was, he replied that he had finished it after only 6 months. Again, they told him that wasn't that great. "Oh yeah?" said the commander in chief, "Well the box says 3-5 YEARS!"