Dude Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man goes out and buys the best car available in
the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the
best and most expensive car in the world, and it
runs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and,
while doing so, stops for a red light.
An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years
old, pulls up next to him.
The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface
of the car and asks "What kind of car ya got
there, sonny?".
The dude replies "A 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. They cost
$500,000."
"That's a lotta money!" says the old man, shocked.
"Why does it cost so much?"
"Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!"
states the cool dude proudly.
The old man asks "Can I take a look inside?"
"Sure" replies the owner.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks
around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says
"That's a pretty more...
A dude walks into a pub with a horse and challenges anyone to
make his horse laugh for $50. Everyone at the pub has a go at
trying to make the horse laugh without any luck.
Then the dude claims to be able to make his horse laugh for
$100. Having got the go from the pub dwellers, he whispers
something into the horse's ear and the horse starts laughing,
much to the amazement of the people in the pub. The guy walks
away with his $100.
A week later the guys arrives at the same pub and claims to be
able to make the horse cry for $100. He then walks his horse to
the mens room and comes out in half a minute with the horse
crying. He then collects his $100 and walks out
On they way out the bartender approaches him
Bar Tender: How on earth did you manage to make that horse
laugh? ?
Guy: I told him my dick was bigger than his
Bar Tender: Okay then how did you make him cry? ?
Guy: Easy, I showed him my dick
A small white guy went into an elevator, when he got in he noticed a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black guy looked down upon the small white guy and said, "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown." The small guy fainted!! The huge black dude picked up the little white guy and brought him to, slapping his face and shaking him. He asked the small white guy, "What's wrong?" Our petite friend said, "Excuse me, but what did you say?"The black giant looked down and repeated, "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown". The white guy sighed, "Oh, thank God! I thought you said "Turn around!!'"
Son: Pop... what is the Ramayan stuff that all my friends in school talk about..
Pop: So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step mom, or somethin', was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, you know, send this cool dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or reserve or somethin'.
Since he was going, for like, somethin' like more than 10 years or so, he decided to take his wife and his bro along. You know... so that they could all chill out together. But dude, the forest was reeeeeeal scary shit, really man, they had monkeys and devils and shit like that.
But this dude, Ram, kicked their ass with darts, bows and arrows, so it was fine. But then some bad boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, were our man, and his bro Lakshman, pissed! And you don't piss this son-of-a-gunz' coz, he just kicks ass and like, all the gods were with more...
I'm no fan of President Bush, and I'm as ready for him to leave office as anyone. But there are few things dumber than the bumper stickers that say "Is It 2008 Yet?"
Um...dude? No. It's not. This sticker makes you look as dumb as the guy you're protesting. And guess what? In a few short months, it will be 2008...at which time the sticker will make you look even dumber.
Wayfroy P. Jackson: 6'6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from Alabama in the last ten years. Loves music. Will demand a mini-cassette player. Holds world record for the most "you knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfroy can print his complete name. Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6'3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state scoring record out of Melrose High School, Charlotte, N.C. Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm. Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6'1", 195 lbs. Running Back. From Omaha. Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well. Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick". Woodrow Lee Washington: 6'8", 310 lbs. Tackle. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children. Mother claims
Woodrow and child more...