"2002 University of Nebraska football recruiting list" joke

Wayfroy P. Jackson: 6'6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from Alabama in the last ten years. Loves music. Will demand a mini-cassette player. Holds world record for the most "you knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfroy can print his complete name. Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6'3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state scoring record out of Melrose High School, Charlotte, N.C. Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm. Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6'1", 195 lbs. Running Back. From Omaha. Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well. Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick". Woodrow Lee Washington: 6'8", 310 lbs. Tackle. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children. Mother claims
Woodrow and child number 9 have same father. He has a manslaughter trial pending but feels he will be found innocent because "The dude said something bad 'bout Momma." On his entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20-20. Will "Night Train" Smith: 6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. Born on an Amtrak train. Birth certificate indicates he is 27 years old. Thinks the N on Nebraska's helmets stands for "Nowledge", but still meets this school's stringent entrance requirements. Insists on wearing
number 32 jersey since it matches his score on his SAT Exam. John "Python" Peoples: 6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver. Has a pending paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none of his other 9 victims will file charges. Tyrone had already signed letters of intent with six other colleges, but was also willing to sign with us. Likes women and Cadillacs. Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Telephone Company. Note: School track coaches will use several of the above signees in the track program. However, instead of using a starting gun at track m

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