Dump Jokes / Recent Jokes

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
See if they can do it again.
For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the seventh bug of Christmas, my more...

How to Change Your Oil
Women:
1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube 3000 miles after the last oil change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. Fifteen minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Men:
1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree.
2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 13mm box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on hand in the process.
12. Clean up.
13. Have another beer while oil is more...

Sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas-
For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
See if they can do it again.
For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Ask them how they did it,
And see if they can do it again.
For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it,
And see if they can do it again.
For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Run with the debugger,
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it,
And see if they can do it again.
For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Ask for a dump,
Run with the debugger,
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it,
And see if they can do it again.
For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
Reinstall the software,
Ask for a dump,
Run with the debugger,
Try to reproduce it,
Ask them how they did it,
And see more...

One day a little boy and a little girl are outside playing together and they get into an argument.
The little boy holds up an army man and says " I bet you don't have one of these!"
The little girl finds her army man and holds it up "Yes I do!" she says in a superior tone.
The little boy looks through his toys and holds up a dump truck and says "Well I bet you don't have one of these!"
Once again the little girl looks through her toys and finds a dump truck and holds it up and says "Oh yes I do!" in a superior tone.
The little boy is starting to get mad so he looks through his toys and finally finds a cap gun. He holds it up and yells "Well I bet you don't have one of these!"
The little girl finds her cap gun and holds it up "Oh yes I do!" in a very snooty voice.
At this point the little boy has had it so he stands up and whips his pants down to his knees and points to his crotch and proclaims more...

TWO GUYS WERE HUNTING AND GOT SEPARATED. JOE DECIDED TO TAKE A DUMP, AND AFTER HANGING HIS ASS OVER A LOG HE SOON FELL ASLEEP MEANWHILE HIS BUDDY SHOT A DEER WHILE DRAGING IT BACK TO HIS RIG HE NOTICED HIS BUDDY ASLEEP ON THE LOG AS A PRANK HE GUTTED THE DEER AND PLACED THE PILE OF GUTS UNDER HIS FRIEND'S ASS AFTER RETURNING TO THE TRUCK HE TOO WAS TIRED AND TOOK A NAP A FEW HOURS LATER HE AWOKE TO SEE JOE TRUNDLING ACROSS THE FEILD "WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU JOE? LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE SEEN A GHOST" WELL I HUNG MY ASS OVER A LOG TO TAKE A DUMP AND WHILE I WAS ASLEEP I MUST HAVE SHIT MY GUTS OUT IF IT WASN'T FOR THE GRACE OF GOD AND A GREASY STICK I WOULD NEVER HAVE GOTTEN THEM BACK IN

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

See if they can do it again.

For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did more...

You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring
back more than you took.