Dunno Jokes

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all running from the cops. They find a barber shop, run in, and ask "got any places to hide?" he answers, "i dunno, you can check if you want" The brunette hides in a box, the redhead in a closet, and the blonde in a potato sack. A few minutes later a policeman walks into the shop. He goes to the barber and asks "did you see 3 strange women walk through here?" and he replies "i dunno, but you can check. He walks over to the box, kicks it, and hears "WOOF WOOF!" and he replies "damn dog!" goes to the closet, kicks it..."MEOW MEOW!"..."damn cat". He by then walks to the potato sack, kicks it, and hears, "POTATO!!!"

A stupid guy is working at a grocery store. An old lady walks up to him and asks him how much are the apples, he says duh I dunno. Then the lady asks are the apples fresh, he says duh I dunno. Then the lady asks him if she should buy these apples, he says duh I dunno. Then the manager comes up to him and says that if someone asks you how much are the apples you say $
1.99, if someone asks you if the apples are fresh you says yes very very fresh, if someone says should they buy these apples you say if you don't somebody else will. Then a robber comes into the store and says give me all the money in the cash register. The stupid guy says duh I dunno. Then the robber says how much money is in the cash register, the guy said $
1.99, the robber then said are playin fresh with me, the guy says yes very very fresh, then the robber says should I shoot you, the said if you don't somebody else will.

How to Answer

It is Saturday, a crisp spring afternoon, and you're exactly where you should be: stretched out on the couch in front of a televised sporting event. Opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your girlfriend enters the room and says,

'DO I LOOK FAT?'

There is no answer to this question that won't be interpreted' yes'.

'No' means yes.' Yes' means yes.' I don't know' means yes.' It doesn't matter' means yes. The briefest hint of a pause before speaking means yes, yes, yes.

Most of us would rather take our degrees again than field this one, yet it may well come up several times a week. Your only real choice is to say no, clearly and immediately, leaving no possibility for any subtext, and making it sound like a widely acknowledged fact and not simply your opinion. This doesn't work, but more...