Eagle Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a mountain that was said that if you jumped off of it you would get one wish. So one guy jumped off and said"I want to be a eagle" and he turned into an eagle. Then a nother guy jumped off and said"I want to be a bird" and he turned into a bird. Then a nother guy jumped off and said"CRAP" so he turned into crap.

One time there where these three people they where at the top of a cliff and where each givien one wish to get off so the burnet jumped off and said I wish I was an eagle and she turned into an eagle. Next the redhead jumped off and said I wish I was a hawk and she turned into one. Then the blonde was running and fell and said crap and turned into a crap.

An Eagle is circling at about 5, 000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the mouse says: "Tail gunner to pilot... Tail gunner to pilot.." The eagle says "what do you want?" The mouse asks how high up they are. The eagle thinks for a moment and then says "ohh about 5, 000 ft." The mouse then replies "You wouldn't be shittin me now would ya??"

A young Indian boy came back to the reservation for a family visit after his first year at college. When his dad asked him about his first year at school, he said: I'm having trouble with people making fun of me, especially my Indian name. How did you come to give your children such odd names"? His father said: "When your brother was born, I looked out the teepee and I saw an eagle flying so I named him Little Eagle and when your sister was born, I looked out the teepee and saw a deer grazing, so I named her spotted fawn. Why do you ask, Two Dogs F*cking"?

Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. It's in the hole. Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf?" he asks "Or are you just gonna fuck around?"

A guy goes to his local church during the week to see the priest and confess his sins. He goes into the confessional box and says, "Father during the week I said the F-word." The priest says, "Well my son, say 3 Hail Mary's and your sins will be forgiven." The guy however was quite eager to explain to the priest why he had used the F-word and grudgingly the priest agreed to listen to his explanation." Well I was playing golf last Sunday instead of coming to church," said the guy." Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked." No," the guy replied. "I was on the first tee and I duck hooked my drive into this terrible rough." "Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked." No," the guy replied getting quite annoyed with the constant interruptions to his story. "My ball took a lucky kick out of the rough and I was left with a perfect shot to the green." "Is that why you said the more...

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself: "I'd give anything to sink this next putt." A stranger walks up to him and whispers: "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"

The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless but also that perhaps this is a good omen and will put him in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt and says, "OK." And sinks the putt.

Two holes later he mumbles to himself: "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole." The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?"The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." And he makes an eagle.

Down to the final hole. The golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your more...