Eagle Jokes / Recent Jokes
A guy is caught by a ranger eating a bald eagle and is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day of his trail, the conversation went something like this: Judge: "Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?" Man: "Yes I did. But if you let me argue my case, I'll explain what happened." Judge: "Proceed." Man: "I got lost in the woods. I hadn't had anything to eat for two weeks. I was so hungry. Next thing I see is a Bald Eagle swooping down at the lake for some fish. I knew that if I followed the Eagle I could maybe steal the fish. Unfortunately, in the process of taking the fish I killed the Eagle. I figured that since I killed the Eagle I might as well eat it since it would be more disgraceful to let it rot on the ground." Judge: "The court will take a recess while we analyze your testimony." 15 minutes goes by and the judge returns. Judge: "Due to the extreme circumstance you were under and because you more...
An "eagle" is worth $10 on the street. A "double eagle" is worth $20. Elin Nordegren's shots are worth about $30,000,000 each.
Three men died and were taken by God to the top of a cliff. God said to them that since they had been such great outstanding citizens of earth that they would be given one chance to become anything that they desired.
The first man ran to the edge of the cliff, jumped into the air and shouted, "I want to be an eagle." Instantly he was changed into an eagle and soared off into the sunset.
The second man ran to the edge of the cliff, jumped into the air and shouted, "I want to be an owl." Instantly he was changed into an owl and soared off into the sunset.
The third man ran towards the edge of the cliff, tripped on a rock, and shouted, "Oh shit. .."
An old man is arrested by a game warden that caught him roasting a bald eagle over a campfire. All of the feathers, head, and feet were nearby, and the man admitted that it was indeed a bald eagle that he was about to eat.
When his day in court came, the old man was quickly convicted but pled for mercy on the grounds that he'd taken the bird for subsistence in a survival situation. The judge complied, giving the man probation, a small fine, and crediting him for time served. Before letting him leave, though, the judge asked the man to his chambers. He asked, just out of curiosity, what bald eagle tasted like? To which the old man replied,
"Oh, a little bit like Condor."
A hiker gets lost in the woods and spends the next two days wandering around with no food. Finally, he spots a bald eagle on a ledge, hits it with a big rock, and begins eating it raw. A park ranger stumbles on the scene and arrests the hiker for killing an endangered species. In court the hiker explains that he was on the edge of starvation and had no choice.
"Considering the circumstances, I find you not guilty," says the judge. "But I have to ask—what did the eagle taste like?"
"Well, your honor," the hiker says, "it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl."
There was a mountain that if you jumped off it you would get one so a guy jumped off and said I want to be a eagle so he turned into a eagle a nother guy jumped off and said I want to be a falcon so he turned into a falcon then a nother guy jumped off and said OH CRAP so he turned into crap.
signed, Cody