Eagle Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde, brunette, and red head were on top of a magic mountain. The myth of the mountain was that if you jumped off of it and yelled out what you wanted to be, you would instantly turn into it.
The brunette jumped off and said she wanted to be an Eagle, so she turned into an Eagle and flew away.
Next, the red head jumped off and said she wanted to be a cat. So, she landed on all fours and walked away.
Then the blonde got a running start, tripped over a rock, and yelled, "SHIT!"

A man goes to the confessional and begins "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.""What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back."Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the priest."I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards.""Is that when you swore?" "No, Father," says the man."After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away.""Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Father again. "Well, no," says the man."You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly more...

A man goes to the confessional and begins, "Forgive me, Father, for I have
sinned."
"What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back.
"Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I
feel absolutely terrible."
"When did you use this awful language?" asks the priest.
"I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going
to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the
fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100
yards."
"Is that when you swore?"
"No, Father," says the man.
"After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his
mouth, and began to run away."
"Is that when you swore?" asks the priest again.
"Well, no," says the man. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle
came down out of the more...

A blonde, a brunette, and a readhead are told that if they jump off a certain cliff and say any word they want, they will turn into whatever they say.
The brunette jumps off and says "Eagle!", and she turns into an eagle and flies away.
The readhead jumps off and says "Hawk!", and she turns into a hawk and flies away.
The blonde gets a running start, trips on a rock, falls over the edge and yells "OH CRAP!"

It is hard to soar like an eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys.

Authorities are busy shifting through the debris left after a powerful tornado ripped through the Texas border town of Eagle Pass. According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, the tornado touched down in Eagle Pass at 7:01 p.m., uprooted mobile homes and battered buildings including a school in the border town, injuring 120 people, then moved across the Rio Grande and actually made some improvements in Mexico.

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself,' I'd give anything to sink this next putt.'

A stranger walks up to him and whispers,' Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?'

The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless, but also that perhaps this is a good omen, so he says,' Okay,' and sinks the putt. Two holes later he mumbles to himself,' Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole.'

The same stranger moves to his side and says,' Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?'

The golfer shrugs and says,' Sure.' He makes an eagle. On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win.

Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says,' Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?'

The golfer says,' Certainly!' He makes the eagle.

As the golfer more...