East Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says "So where are you from, then?"
"I'm from Ireland."
"Me too! I'll drink to that." They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin."
"Me too! I'll drink to that." They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where in Dublin are you from?"
"The East Side."
"The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I'll drink to that!" They both finish their pints and order two more.
"Where on the East Side are you from?"
"McDonagh Street."
"Me too! This is incredible! I'll drink to that."
As the bartender pours them another two pints, another customer at the bar says to him, "That's amazing! I can't believe they're from the more...

Q: There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this? A: The frog's probably on its way to a gig.

The Chocolate Ritual (You need to know a bit about wicca for this to be a knee slapper.. . )

Materials required: On the altar are brown candles, a Tootsie Roll (the big one), a large glass with milk in it (the chalice), a small dish of Nestle's Quik and a spoon, a small dish of chocolate sprinkles, a plate of cupcakes, and some Yoo-Hoo along with a goblet. The athame is represented by a cake knife reserved only for cutting Devil's Food Cake, and the pentacle is represented by a chocolate star.

CLEANSE THE SACRED SPACE:
(take the small bowl of chocolate sprinkles)

Chocolate sprinkles where thou art
Cast no calories in thy presence last.
Let no fat adhere to me
And as I will so mote it be!

Nestle's Quik where thou art cast
Turn this milk to chocolate fast.
Let all good things come to me,
and make my milk all chocolatey!

CAST THE CIRCLE
(using the Tootsie roll)

CALL THE more...

Mueller is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far east country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the native people take as an insult to the royal family.
Mueller is dragged off to court with his wife and mother-in-law and are sentenced to corporal punishment. Each of them are to recieve 50 lashes on the rear end with a cane. But because the royal family doesn’t want to appear hostile to foreigners, they grant the guests in their country a wish beforehand, as long as it is able to be fulfilled.
Mrs. Mueller is first.
“What do you wish for yourself? ”
“I would like a pillow bound on my rear end before the lashings. ”
“Okay, that shall be granted to you. ”
Mrs. Mueller has the pillow bound to her rear end and receives her punishment. But because the pillow is too small and the executioner also hits her back a couple of times, she receives a few blows.
Next it is Mueller’s mother-in-law’s more...

Minister for Industries, another for Rural Industries, and yet
another for Small Industries: -): -): -)
SL has geared up for massive development. You can see from the no of ministries the amount of development that is going to take place in the next 6 years.
1. There are two ministers to look after the people who do nothing.
2. There is a minister for Transport and minister for High ways. I never knew that Highways were not used for transport. They could created another minitry for railways.

3. You have a fisheries minister and another minister to looking to the fisheries housing. May be they are planning to implement a Work from home policy for the fishermen.

4. One minister for Mahaweli development and another for irrigation and another for power and energy. Who will look into
the resevoirs which do all three functions. I guess it will be all.

5. There is a minister the Tamils in the North and east what about the Tamils in more...

Dear All,
I got hysterical reading this encounter between George Bush and Condoleeza Rice:
Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this today after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.
HU'S ON FIRST?
By James Sherman
We take you now to the Oval Office.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That’s what I want to know.
Condi: That’s what I’am telling you.
George: That’s what I’am asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes. George: I mean the fellow’s name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The China man!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I’am telling you Hu is leading more...

East to the Sea, West to the Land, Death to the B***h that touches my Man.