Easy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks.
Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results: Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the buttocks.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows exactly what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her,> if she is interested, she'll send YOU a drink. Drink: Wine - (does not include White Zinfandel, see below)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends. Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and more...
How easy is it for wind gusts to talk to each other? -It is a breeze
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in uptown New York.The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and presence of this secretary that he asked her to marry him. The secretary was startled, but remembered that her boss told her never to insult foreign dignitaries, so she decided to let him down easy. "I'll only marry you under three conditions." she said."Anything, anything," said the ambassador."First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72 carat diamond, along with a 28 inch studded matching necklace for our engagement."Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his cellular phone, called his personal accountant, told him the instructions, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!" The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she thought of a more difficult situation."Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in more...
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
Redmond, Wash.
April 1, 1998
Microsoft today announced the newest addition to its popular Windows (TM) line of computer operating systems. Code named Atlantis, the newest offering will be officially known as Win' 00, pronounced Windows double zero.
At the gala press conference, complete with red, white, and blue lights bathing the stage, Bill Gates, President and CEO of Microsoft, personally made the announcement. Multicast to every corner of the world, Gates spoke to the huge crowd of computer press, as a 60 foot high video screen behind him showed his face, and Aerosmith sang their hit' Dream On' in the background.
"We are on the verge of the new millenium, and Microsoft is ready to lead the way into the new century. Just as we have been on the forefront of technology, claiming every advance in computing, we will now set the newest standard in the market. Taking the concept of the Virtual machine to its next logical evolutionary stage, our new operating more...
A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"
"Ten," she replied. "What are their names?" he asked.
"Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, and Johnny," she answered.
"They're all named Johnny?" he asked. "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call Johnny,' and they all come running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
"I just say, Johnny, come eat your dinner," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"
To the first nun, St. Peter asked "Who was the first man on earth?" The nun replied, "Gee, that's an easy one, that would be Adam". BELLS RING, LIGHTS FLASH, and she goes in.
To the second nun, St. Peter asked "Who was the first woman on earth?" The nun replied, "Gee, that's an easy one, that would be Eve". BELLS RING, LIGHTS FLASH, and she goes in.
To the third nun, St. Peter asked "What was the first thing Eve said when she first laid eyes on Adam?" The nun replied, "Geez, that's a hard one". BELLS RING, LIGHTS FLASH...