Economist Jokes / Recent Jokes
The following is supposedly a true story. An economist was about to give a presentation in Washington, DC on the problems with Black-Scholes model of option pricing and was expecting no more than a dozen of government officials attending. To his amazement, when he arrived, the room was packed with edgy, tough-looking guys in shades. Still, after five or so minutes into the presentation all of them stood up and left without a word. The economist found out only later that his secretary ran the presentation through a spell-checker and what was "The Problem with Black-Scholes" became "The Problem with Black Schools".
INTEREST GROUP ECONOMIST VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer. ECONOMETRICIAN VIRUS - Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3. 5 percent margin of POLITICAL THINK TANK ECONOMIST VIRUS - Doesn’t do anything, but you can’t get rid of it until next election. GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS - nothing works on your system, but all your diagnostic software says everything is just fine. MARXIAN ECONOMIST VIRUS - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to. SOVIET ECONOMIST VIRUS - Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened. MAINSTREAM ECONOMIST VIRUS - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases then in “self-defense. ” CENTRAL BANK ECONOMIST VIRUS - Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file. MULTINATIONAL CORPORATION ECONOMIST VIRUS - more...
An economist is someone who gets rich explaining others why they are poor. The last severe depression and banking crisis could not have been achieved by normal civil servants and politicians, it required economists involvement. Contagion: A story demonstrating the possible outcomes from interlink ages in the financial markets. Two economists sit down to play chess. They study the board for 24 hours and declare a stale-mate. An economist is someone who didn’t have enough personality to become an accountant. Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
The First Law of Economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist. The Second Law of Economists: They’re both wrong. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today. - Laurence J. Peter A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. - Marty Allen I don’t think you can spend yourself rich. - George Humphrey If all economists were laid end to end they would not reach a conclusion. - George Bernard Shaw An economist is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. Tariff - A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. Economists are people who are too smart for their own good and not smart enough for anyone else’s. Economy - Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford. An economist is someone who doesn’t know what more...
Top economist Valentine’s Day cards 4. You raise my interest rate thirty basis points without a corresponding drop off in consumer enthusiasm. 3. Let’s raise housing starts together. 2. You stoke the animal spirits of my market. 1. Despite your decade of inflation, I still love you.
A university committee was appointed to pick a new dean. The committee narrowed the candidates down to a mathematician, an economist and a lawyer. During each interview, the candidate was asked to answer the question, "How much is two plus two?"
The mathematician answered immediately, "Four."
The economist thought for several minutes and finally answered, "Four, plus or minus one."
When the lawyer was asked the question, he stood, looked around the room and motioned silently for the committee members to gather close to him. In a hushed, conspiratorial tone, he replied, "How much do you want it to be?"
Economic computer virusesINTEREST GROUP ECONOMIST VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer. ECONOMETRICIAN VIRUS - Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3. 5 percent margin of POLITICAL THINK TANK ECONOMIST VIRUS - Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until next election. GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS - nothing works on your system, but all your diagnostic software says everything is just fine. MARXIAN ECONOMIST VIRUS - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to. SOVIET ECONOMIST VIRUS - Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened. MAINSTREAM ECONOMIST VIRUS - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases then in "self-defense." CENTRAL BANK ECONOMIST VIRUS - Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file. MULTINATIONAL more...