Economist Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Why has astrology been invented? A: So that economy could be an accurate science. Q: What’s the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer’s? A: The economist is the one with the calculator. Q: What’s the difference between economists and businessmen? A: The first don’t keep their feet on the ground; the latest use to keep their four feet in the ground Q: Why did God create economists? A: In order to make weather forecasters look good. Q: What does an economist do? A: A lot in the short run, which amounts to nothing in the long ru Economists wife Two economists meet on the street. One inquires, “How’s your wife? ” The other responds, “Relative to what? ” To an economist, real life is a special case.
BUTTERBALL TURKEY TALK-LINE' GREATEST HITS'
(or,' Memorable Moments in Talk-Line History;' or,' Out of the Mouths of.... Turkey Trauma Victims')
Over the years, the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line staff have had their share of memorable calls -- inquiries that stand out from the crowd because they're heartwarming or amusing. We asked some of the veteran staff members to tell us their favorites; plus, we rounded up a bunch of our own personal favorites from the Talk-Line archives. Its hard to beat the call from a trucker who planned to cook his Thanksgiving turkey on the engine of his truck ('Will it cook faster if I drive faster?'), but some of these come pretty close. Warning: do not attempt to adjust your screen -- these are real incidents, true stories -- from the front lines!
* Home alone, a Kentucky woman was in the doghouse when she called the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line. While preparing the turkey, her Chihuahua jumped into the bird's body cavity more...
Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?
A: Too early to say.
Q: Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea?
A: If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists.
Q: Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck?
A: He forgot to seasonally adjust his pool.
Q: Why did the market economist cross the road?
A: To reach the consensus forecast.
Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb.
A2: Two. One to assume the existence of latter and one to change the bulb.
Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It more...
Q: How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?
A: All. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the AD (agg. demand) to the right
Q: How many Trotskyists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Smash it!
Q; How many central bank economists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Just one -- he holds the lightbulb and the whole earth revolves around him.
Q: How many marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None - the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution.
Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven, plus/minus ten.
Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Irrelevant - the light bulb's preferences are to be taken as given.
Q. What's the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer's?
A. The economist is the one with the more...
Q: What do you call a little girl in a brown dress who is running across a playground?
A: A brownian motion.
Q: Why do social workers refuse to sleep with economists?
A: They have learned its a sunk cost.
Q: Why do Economists provide estimates of inflation to the nearest tenth of a percent?
A: To prove they have a sense of humour.
Q: What does it take to be a good economist?
A: An unshakeable grasp of the obvious!
Q: What is a recent economics graduate's usual question in his first job?
A: What would you like to have with your french fries sir?
Q: What's the difference between a finance major and an economics major?
A: Opportunity Cost
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1. Just one, but it really gets screwed.
2. One to prepare the proposal, an econometrician to run the model, one each MS and PhD students to write the theses and dissertations, two more more...
Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand. Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!
Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist."