Economy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Economic computer virusesINTEREST GROUP ECONOMIST VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer. ECONOMETRICIAN VIRUS - Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of POLITICAL THINK TANK ECONOMIST VIRUS - Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until next election. GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS - nothing works on your system, but all your diagnostic software says everything is just fine. MARXIAN ECONOMIST VIRUS - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to. SOVIET ECONOMIST VIRUS - Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened. MAINSTREAM ECONOMIST VIRUS - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases then in "self-defense." CENTRAL BANK ECONOMIST VIRUS - Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file. MULTINATIONAL more...

U.S. retail gas prices dropped nearly 22 cents a gallon in the past two weeks, the second decline in a row since a mid-August peak, according to a survey released Sunday.
Some industry experts predict gas prices will drop in direct proportion to how well Congress fares in upcoming election polls.
Translation: We'll have 3 cent-a-gallon gas on November 1.

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy.

An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.

Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing.
An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.
Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!
Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist."
Practice economy at ANY cost.

A little boy goes to his father one day and says, "Daddy, what is politics?"
"Well," his father replied, "let me try to explain it to you this way. Let's say that you're the people. I'm the breadwinner of the family so we'll call me the economy. Your mother is in charge so we'll call her government. Your nanny will be the working class, and your baby brother is the future. Now go think about that and see if you can understand."
The boy thinks about it but doesn't really get it so he goes to bed. He wakes up in the middle of the night and hears his baby brother crying. He goes to check on his brother and sees that he has soiled himself but doesn't know how to change a diaper. He goes to his parents' room to wake them up, but only his mother is there, snoring loudly. He goes to the nanny's room instead and finds the door locked. When he looks through the keyhole, he sees his father in bed with the nanny. Frustrated, he just goes back to bed.
In more...

Military sources today confirmed passing on the oppurtunity to kill 190 insurgents gathered in a cemetery mourning the passing of one of their fallen comrades. An unnamed general confirmed that we could have taken out the entire group with one unmanned predator missile and no risk of suffering any casualities of our own. His explanation was simply that killing an entire group in a cemetery wouldn't be nice. The time savings alone would cause Taliban grave diggers economic hardship and or unemployment. He then went on to explain that we already had troops in the area that we have invested millions of dollars in training and supplying, training and supplying that creates jobs in this country. Stating that " our boys actually prefer plinking those dirty bastards one by one ", he pointed out the benefit to our own economy to drawing out the war as long as possible. Additionally, aborting a bombing in a cemetery would spare the the difficult task of explaining just how we dropped more...

New Zealand Airlines unveiled beds in its economy-classcabins. So it’s now possible to wake up next to the person you joined the MileHigh Club with.