Economy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Reportedly a true story:

On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, South Africa; a middle-aged, visibly well-off white South African lady found herself sitting next to a well dressed black gentleman.

She called the cabin attendant over to complain about her seating.

'What seems to be the problem, Madam?' asked the attendant.

'Can't you see?' she loudly snapped,' You've sat me next to a Kaffir. I can't possibly sit next to this disgusting man. Find me another seat!'

'Please try to be calm, Mam,' the stewardess replied.' I believe the economy section is completely full today, but I'll go and check to see if we have any upgraded seats available in club or first class.'

The woman cocked a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her (as well as many of the other nearby passengers). Minutes later the stewardess returned.

'Mam, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken to the cabin services director, more...

August 13 - August 19

"I rate the experience somewhere between grading papers and sex with a student."

- Barbara Morgan, first teacher in space.

In a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first-class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first-class ticket. The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving." Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman, asking her to please move out of the first-class section. Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving." The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this." He went to the first-class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so?" Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked more...

The Economy, Stupid
"We`re enjoying sluggish times, and not enjoying them very much." -George Bush Sr., in 1992
"A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness." -George W. Bush, in Sept. 2000
Mangled Metaphors
"Please don`t ask me to do that which I`ve just said I`m not going to do, because you`re burning up time. The meter is running through the sand on you, and I am now filibustering." -George Bush Sr., in 1989
"The senator has got to understand if he`s going to have - he can`t have it both ways. He can`t take the high horse and then claim the low road." -George W. Bush, in Feb. 2000
The Call of the Wild
"If you`re worried about caribou, take a look at the arguments that were used about the pipeline. They`d say the caribou would be extinct. You`ve got to shake them away with a stick. They`re all making love lying up against the pipeline and you got thousands of caribou up more...

Congress just voted on a 14 billion dollar auto industry bailout
I think the auto companies went to the wrong people if they were looking for a bailout.
If they wanted to go to someone who would spend taxpayer money recklessly and bid millions more then they are worth they should have signed with the New York Yankees

Under a new deal, the government revamped its rescue package to the insurance giant, AIG, saying it will give an additional $30 billion on an "as needed" basis. AIG's bailout now totals around $173 billion. The U.S. government has now made four separate efforts to save the company.
__________
Maybe I just don't understand these things, but shouldn't AIG have had insurance?

Police said he had a previous record for robbing a Starbucks and a DMV.