Edith Jokes / Recent Jokes
If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.
If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.
If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.
If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, hey! it's the '90's!, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.
If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elto John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.
If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.
If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.
How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.
If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny more...
The confused young man couldn't decide whether to marry Kathryn or Edith. Try as he might, he just could not make up his mind. Unwilling to give up either, he strung them along for far too long. This indecision continued until both young women got tired of the situation and left him for good. Moral of the story: You can't have your Kate and Edith too!
Two smart, attractive, well-educated young law graduates, Sally and Edith, were competing for a prestigious job.
As part of the job interview each was asked why she wanted the job.
Edith answered that she wanted to work for a firm with a reputation of being concerned with truth and justice.
When it was her turn, Sally simply opened her purse, took out a rather thin wallet and laid it on the senior partner's desk.
"I want to fatten it up as fast as possible" she said.
Sally got the job
A mountain woman went to the doctor and was told to go home and come back in a couple days with a specimen.
When she got home she asks her husband," What is a specimen?"
He replies," Hell if I know. Go next door and ask Edith. She's a nurse".
The woman goes next door and comes back in about twenty minutes with her clothes all torn and with multiple cuts and bruises on her face and body.
"What in the world happened?" asked her husband.
"Damn if I know," she replies. "I asked Edith what a specimen was and she told me to go piss in a bottle. I told her to go shit in her hat and then all hell broke loose.
The confused young man couldn't decide whether to marry Kathryn or Edith. Try as he might, he just could not make up his mind.
Unwilling to give up either, he strung them along for far too long. This indecision continued until both young women got tired of the situation and left him for good.
Moral of the story: You can't have your Kate and Edith too!