Education Jokes / Recent Jokes

It was the first day of the school year and the first grade teacher was asking her students their names. "What's your name?" she asked a little girl in the front row.
"Happy Butt," the little girl cheerfully replied.
"Honey, I don't think that's your name. I'd like you to go to the principal's office to get this straightened out," said the teacher.
So, the little girl went to the principal's office and he asked, "What's your name?"
"Happy Butt," she answered.
The principal phoned the little girl's mother to get this cleared up once and for all.
As soon as he hung up the phone, he looked at the litte girl and said, "Your name is Gladys, dear, not Happy Butt."
"Glad Ass, Happy Butt, what's the difference?" exclaimed the little girl.

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.

Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.

"Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.

Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.

One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."

The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

It was the first day of the school year and the teacher was asking her first grade students their names. "What is your name?" she asked a little boy in the first row.
"Peter Break," the little boy gleefully answered.
The teacher said, "Young man, I don't think that's your name. Now, what is your real name?"
Again, the little boy responded, "Peter Break."
Frustrated, the teacher went to the principal's office and asked, "Mr. Jones, do we have a Peter Break here?"
The principal replied, "Heck, we don't even have time for a coffee break here!"

Hygiene Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?

Jose: Don't bite any.

One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."

The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?"

The little girl replied, "My homework."

Q. Where is the biggest pencil in the world found?
A. In Pennslyvania(pencil vania)HA HA HA!

The teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Mary said, "My family went to the New Your City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted the word "fascinate."

Sally raised her hand. She said, "My famiy went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was Fascinated." The teacher said, "good, but I wanted the word "fascinate."

Little Billy raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Billy was noted for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate" so she called on him.

Billy said, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her chest is so big she can only "fasten 8."