Eggs Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Eight Worst Convenience Foods
And I thought nothing could top Hormel’s pickled eggs …
8. Meeter’s Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that’s sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have medicinal benefits (as a source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.), which adds up to a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.
7. Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports): The best thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking sheep on the package label - he seems to be saying, “Go on, eat me already. ” The second-best thing is the presence of both “cooked mutton” and “mutton” in the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all the mutton bases covered.
6. Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Dial Corp.): If you’re really looking to clog up those arteries in a hurry, you’ll be pleased to learn that a more...
One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story, little Suzy raises her hand.' 'My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, on Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road.'' The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies,' 'Don't keep all your eggs in one basket.''
Next is little Lucy.' 'Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched.'' The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Lucy replies' 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched.''
Last is little Billy.' 'My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out more...
Why didnt the female frog lay eggs? Because her husband spawned her affections!
The elderly pastor was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and its contents. Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box there for their entire 45 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her, "WHY?" The wife replied that she hadn't wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings. She said that every time during their marriage that he had delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box. The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 45 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for. She replied, "Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbors for $1."
Question: If a rooster laid an egg on the top of a barn, which way would it roll?
Answer: Neither, roosters don't lay eggs.Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: Because the rooster egged her on.Question: Did you hear the one about the egg?
Answer: It's not all it's "cracked" up to be! Question: Why can't you tease egg whites?
Answer: They can't take a yolk.Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Omelette.
Omelette who?
Omelette smarter than I look! Question: What do you call an egg that goes on safari?
Answer: An eggs-plorer!Question: What do you call a city of 20 million eggs?
Answer: New Yolk City! Question: What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
Answer: It cracks up! Question: What do you get when you put a Tasmanian Devil in a chicken coop?
Answer: Deviled eggs! Question: Why did the chicken lay an egg?
Answer: Because it would break if she dropped it! Question: Where did the chicken go on her more...
One day at the end of class little Johnny’s teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story, little Suzy raises her hand.
“My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road. ”
The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, “Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket. ”
Next is little Lucy. “Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched. ”
The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Lucy replies “Don’t count your eggs before they’re hatched. ”
Last is little Johnny. “My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy more...