Eggs Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story.The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteerto tell a story. Suzy said, "Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto theroad." The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Next is little Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asks for the moral of the story.Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."Last is little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of more...

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

A man really wanted to go to a ghost town, so he finds one and decides to go.WHile he is there he goes down a long dirt road and comes across an indian. Above the indian reads a sign "Ask me anything, I know everything" So he decides to ask him, "What did you have for breakfast April 23, 1984?" The indian replies, "Eggs"The man replies,"Eggs? Well anybody can say eggs."A couple of years later, he decides to go back. He finds himself walking down the same dirt road, and comes across the same indian, with the same sign.He walks up to him and greets him "How"The indian replies, "Scrambled"

Russell Crowe says that since he's put his Oscar in his barn, his chickens have been laying bigger eggs. In a related story, actor Cuba Gooding, Jr. says that since he won his Oscar, his movies have been laying bigger eggs.

One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home
and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The
following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their
story, little Suzy raises her hand.
"
My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck
and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a
big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story.
Suzy replies, "
Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Next is little Lucy. "
Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we
take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8
of the 12 eggs hatched."
The teacher asks for the moral of the story.
Lucy replies "
Don't count your eggs before they're hatched."
Last is little Johnny. "
My uncle more...

Why did the bull rush? Because it saw the cow slip! What kind of bird lays electric eggs? A battery hen! What do you call an arctic cow? An eskimoo! What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? A brick-layer! How do you fit more pigs on your farm? Build a sty-scraper! Why does a rooster watch TV? For hentertainment! What do you get from a drunk chicken? Scotch eggs! What do you call a crate of ducks? A box of quackers! What do you get if you cross a chicken with a bell? A bird that has to wring its own neck!

Pinoy goes to order breakfast at a coffee shop in Manhattan... Waiter: "What kind of coffee would you like, regular or decaf?"
Pinoy: "No... Big cup! Big cup!" Waiter: "What would you like for your breakfast?"
Pinoy: "Hameneggs." Waiter: "And how do you like your eggs, sir?"
Pinoy: "Yes, tenkyu, I like dem beri much."
Waiter: "No sir, I mean how would you like them cooked?"
Pinoy: "Yes, tenkyu, I wud like dem cooked."
Waiter (with increasing impatience): "Would you like your eggs... fried? poached? hard boiled or soft boiled?"
Pinoy (with increasing uneasiness): "Yes, one fried en one hard boiled or sop boiled." Waiter: "And what bread would you like?"
Pinoy: "Begyurpardon?"
Waiter: "What kind of bread would you like... white? rye? whole wheat? toast?"
Pinoy: "Pan Amercano..."
Waiter: "We more...