Eggs Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ham and eggs: a day`s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

My parrot lays square eggs but can only say one word. What's that? Ouch!

A guy goes into a diner, and when the waitress comes over to take his order, he says, "I want eggs, toast, and coffee. But make the eggs uncooked, the toast burnt, and the coffee really strong and bad. And I want you to slam the food onto the table and yell at me."
The waitress says "Why would you want me to something like that?"
He replies, "I'm homesick."

61. Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning? A: Pack their lunch and send them to work. 62. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A1: Introduces themself. A2: Walks home. 63. Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK". 64. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning? A: Fertilised. 65. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs? A: Unfertilised. 66. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex? A: Opens the car door. 67. Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A: Locking the car door. 68. Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex? A: Kick open the car door. 69. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who was disappointed when she got her driver's license? A: The instructor gave her an "F" in sex. 70. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering? A: More head room. 71. Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs? A: More leg room. 72. Q: What goes VROOM, more...

An old man and women are going out for a meal to celebrate there 50th anniversary.The old man is getting ready but cant find his shoes so he looks under the bed and finds a box with 2 eggs in it and a thousand pounds so that evening he questions his wife about it at dinner.
"Well.." she said "each time I was unfaithful to you I put an egg in the box"
"And what about the thousand pound?" asked the old man.
"Well..." Replies the woman "Each time I got a dozen eggs I sold them"

An old man and women are going out for a meal to celebrate there 50th anniversary.The old man is getting ready but cant find his shoes so he looks under the bed and finds a box with 2 eggs in it and a thousand pounds so that evening he questions his wife about it at dinner."Well.." she said "each time I was unfaithful to you I put an egg in the box""And what about the thousand pound?" asked the old man."Well..." Replies the woman "Each time I got a dozen eggs I sold them"

Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blow job? A: The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blow job.