Elder People Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a concerned look on his face. "Doc," he says, "I'm worried. It's that dream. I'm having it again!" "What dream?" asked the psychiatrist. "You know," says the man, "the one where I'm into sadism and bestiality and necrophilia. Should I be worried or am I just beating a dead horse?"

A doctor on his rounds in a mental hospital sees a couple of patients behaving rather strangely. The first man is sitting on the edge of his bed clutching an imaginary steering wheel and making loud noises like VRRROOOM, VRRROOOM... SCREEECH... "What are you doing?" asks the doctor. "I'm driving this truck down to Barcelona to deliver some fish," replies the ex-trucker. Somewhat taken aback but not put off the doctor moves on to the next bed where he can see some very energetic activity going on underneath the covers. On pulling them back he finds a man totally naked face down into the mattress. "And what are you doing?" asks the doctor, a little confused. "Well," pants the man, "don't tell him, but while he's in Barcelona, I'm fucking his wife."

Dr. Leroy, the head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital, is examining patients to see if they're cured and ready to re-enter society. "So, Mr. Clark," the doctor says to one of his patients, "I see by your chart that you've been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might do once you're released?" The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering. That's still a good field, good money there. But on the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the hospital, what it's like to be a patient here. People might be interested in reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might go back to college and study art history, which I've grown interested in lately."
Dr. Leroy nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities." "And do you know what the best part is?" he asks. "No. Please tell me." "The more...

Three insane men walk out of a mental hospital hoping to escape. The first says, "If there's a high fence, we'll dig under it!" The second says, "If there's a low fence, we'll jump over it!" The third says, "Well, we're out of luck, boys--There is no fence," so instead they just went back to their rooms.