Elections Jokes / Recent Jokes
Application Form To Be Filled For Contesting Indian Elections ----------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Name of Candidate: _______________________
2. Present Address
(i) Name of Jail: _______________________
(ii) Cell Number: _______________________
3. Political Party: _______________________ (List ONLY the Last Five parties in the Chronological (Order)
4. Sex: [ ]
A - Male
B - Female
C - Mayawati
5. Nationality: [ ]
A - Italian
B - Indian
6. Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more)
A - Defected
B - Expelled
C - Bought out
D - None of above
E - All of above
7. Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more)
A - To make money
B - To escape court trial
C - To grossly misuse power
D - To serve the public
E - I have no clue (if you choose "D, attach Certificate of Sanity from more...
President Bush is going to establish elections there in Iraq. He`s going to rebuild the infrastructure. He`s going to create jobs. He said if it works there, he`ll try it here.
It was two weeks past elections, when all through Palm Beach. Only lawyers were stirring, the blood sucking leech. The ballots were held to the light with great care, in hopes that a dot or a dimpled be there.
The voters were nestled all snug in their beds, while nightmares of pregnant chads danced in their heads. And Bush back in Austin, and Gore in DC, had just rattled the courts over votes absentee.
When out on the beach there arose such a clatter, the counters stopped counting to see whats the matter. Away to the shore lawyers flew like a flash, the out of state protesters started to clash.
When what to our wondering eyes was bestowed, but Air Force One and eight interns in tow. What came off the plane gave us all quite a chill, we knew in a moment twas our buddy Bill.
More buxom than hookers, his courses they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name. Now Bambi, Now Suzie! Now Candy and Tasha! On Cassie! On Dana! On more...
A Washington Post/ABC News poll reveals that more than 80% of Americans favor major changes in the way elections are conducted.
Chage number one BETTER CANDIDATES!
This one comes from General Pervez Musharraf's trusted personal barber who had become infected by the popular demand for the restoration of democracy.
One morning, while clipping the president's hair he asked:' Gareeb pur war] When are you going to have elections in Pakistan?'
The president ignored the question with the contempt it deserved from a military dictator. At the next hair-cutting session, the barber asked:' Aalijahl Isn't it time you redeemed your promise to have elections?'
The president controlled his temper and remained silent.
At the third hair-clipping session the barber again blurted out:' Banda Nawaz, the awam (commofi people) are clamouring for elections; when will you order them?'
The president could not contain himself any longer and exploded:' Gaddaar I will have you taught a lesson you will never forget!' and he ordered his minions to take away the barber and give him ten lashes on his buttocks.
The barber fell at the'great man's more...
Why was the Marxist leader dumbstruck on arrival at US airport?
Boy, who said Communism is not prevalent in this part of the world, there is Arri-val everywhere.
What processor does a Mallu have in his PC?
A Pendium
What does a Mallu do to run for elections in Hongkong?
Change his name from Thankachan to Than Ka Chan.
What does a Mallu do to run for elections in England?
Change his name from Vaideswaran to Vaides Waran.
What will a mallu reply when asked "Are there any mosquitoes in your house?
Plendy
Why did the Malayalee crossed the road?
Simbly.
How does a malayalee spell the word' MOON'?
Yem wo yettanudherwo yen-uh!
Why do they require 5 people for a Malayalee funeral?
Four to carry the coffin, one to carry the two-in-one.
How does a Malayalee travel in Chembur?
BY ODO
Where did the malayalee study?
In the more...