Elephant Jokes / Recent Jokes

When should you feed milk to a baby elephant? When its a baby elephant!

What time is it when an elephant sits in your chair?
Time to get a new chair.

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling,' 'If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.'' The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with,' 'If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.'' The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid,' 'What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!'' The kid smiles and says,' 'I would be a bus driver!''

Tarzan gets into a huge fight with a lion in the jungles of Africa. The lion is defeated, but not before it rips off Tarzan's arm, eye, and dick. Of course, Tarzan's jungle friends help him out by giving him the parts he needs - the eye of an eagle, the arm of a gorilla, and an elephant trunk for a dick. A while later, Cheeta the Chimp asks Tarzan how his new parts are working out for him.
"Tarzan like. With new eye, can see far. With new arm, Tarzan strong. But no like new wee-wee."
"Why's that?"
"It keep taking weeds and shoving in Tarzan's ass."

A couple took their young son for his first visit to the circus,
and by chance their seats were next to the elephant pen. When his father left to buy popcorn, the boy piped up, "Mom, what's that long thing on the elephant?"
"That's the elephant's trunk, dear," she replied.
"No, not that."
"Oh, that's the elephant's tail."
"No, Mom. Down underneath."
His mother blushed and said, "Oh, that's nothing."
Pretty soon the father returned, and the mother went off to get
a soda. As soon as she had left the boy repeated his question.
"That's the elephant's trunk, son."
"Dad, I know what an elephant's trunk is. The thing at the other end."
"Oh, that's the elephant's tail."
"No. Down there."
The father took a good look and explained, "That's the elephant's
penis."
"Dad, how come when I asked Mom, she said it more...

What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence? Time to fix the fence! What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet? An elephant with an umbrella! What' s grey with red spots? An elephant with the measles! Why does an elephant wear sneakers? So that he can sneak up on mice! What's big and grey and wears a mask? The elephantom of the opera! What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour? A jet propelled elephant! Why did the elephant cross the road? Because the chicken was having a day off! What do you call an elephant at the North Pole? Lost! Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool? Because they couldn't hold their trunks up!

1. How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. 2. How do you kill a pink elephant? Twist his nose until he turns blue and then use the blue elephant gun.