Elephants Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lady walking down the street one day saw a man walking towards her. The man was talking to himself, waving his arms around his head and jumping up and down three times. He repeated this several times. The lady asked the man what he was doing? The man replied I am keeping the pink elephants away.
The lady replied, "Why? There are no pink elephants around here."

The man replied, "I know, works great doesn't it?"

How to Hunt Elephants -- Senior Manager StyleSenior managers set broad elephant hunting policy based onthe assumption that elephants are just like field mice, butwith deeper voices. Sent by Alex

Little John: I used to be a big-game hunber. Why, for years I shot elephants in Alaska.

Big Alfred: That's impossible! There aren't any elephants in Alaska.

Little John: Of course not. I shot them all.

What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant? An animal that tells you everything that it remembers! What is a baby elephant after he is five weeks old? Six weeks old! What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail? This is the end of me! Policeman: "One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle."Zoo Keeper: "Nonsense, none of my elephants knows how to ride a bicycle!"Why do the elephants have short tails? Because they can't remember long stories! How to you keep an elephant in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!"Dad, Mum is fighting with an enormous elephant in the garden!""Don't worry dear, I'm sure the elephant can look after itself!" My elephants got no trunk? How does it smell? Terrible! What do elephants sing at christmas? Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants... Who do elephants get their christmas presents from? Elephanta Claus!

Why do ducks have big, webbed feet? To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have big, flat feet? To stamp out flaming ducks.

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A: Holes all over Australia.
Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken’s day off.
Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.
Q: Why do elephants drink so much?
A: To try to forget.
Q: How can you tell if an elephant is getting ready to charge?
A: He pull out his Diners’ Club card.
Q: What do you get when two giraffes collide?
A: A giraffic jam.