Tarzan Jokes

Tarzan got into a huge fight with a lion in the jungles of Africa and, while the lion was defeated, it did manage to destroy Tarzan's eye and rip off his arm and his dick.
Needless to say, Tarzan's jungle friends helped him out by giving him the parts he needed... the eye of an eagle, the arm of a gorilla, and an elephant trunk for a dick. A while later, Cheeta the Chimp asked Tarzan how his new parts were working out for him.
"Tarzan like. With new eye, Tarzan can see far. With new arm, Tarzan strong. But, Tarzan no like new wee-wee," Tarzan replied.
"Why not?" asked Cheeta.
"It keep taking weeds and shoving in Tarzan's ass!" Tarzan complained.

Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?
A: Anything you want, it can't hear you.
Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.
Q: What is grey and not there.
A: No elephants.
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant? (Stup-pid, fuul, idyut!)
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
Q: Why did more...

Jane met Tarzan in the jungle and found she was very attracted to him. While asking him questions about his life, she asked how he managed for sex.
"What's sex?" asked a confused Tarzan.
She explained to him what sex was and he replied, "Tarzan use hole in tree trunk."
Horrified, Jane said, "No, Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll show you how to do it the proper way." She then removed all her clothes, laid on the ground and spread her legs.
Pointing to her privates, she said, "Here, Tarzan. You must put it here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, moved closer to her and gave her a tremendous kick in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony and gasped, "What the hell was that for?"
"Tarzan always check for bees!" he replied.

Tarzan gets into a huge fight with a lion in the jungles of Africa. The lion is defeated, but not before it rips off Tarzan's arm, eye, and dick. Of course, Tarzan's jungle friends help him out by giving him the parts he needs - the eye of an eagle, the arm of a gorilla, and an elephant trunk for a dick. A while later, Cheeta the Chimp asks Tarzan how his new parts are working out for him.
"Tarzan like. With new eye, can see far. With new arm, Tarzan strong. But no like new wee-wee."
"Why's that?"
"It keep taking weeds and shoving in Tarzan's ass."

What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
"Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"
What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses
in the distance?
Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?
"Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"