Eleven Jokes

What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day? A coffin break.

Murphy said to his daughter, "I want you home by eleven o'clock."
She said, "But Father, I'm no longer a child!"
He said, "I know, that's why I want you home by eleven."

A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"His father says, "No...how old?"He says, "I'm eleven!"He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, knowhow old I am today?"She says, "Come closer..."She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into hisunderwear. She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says,"You're eleven."He says, "How could you tell?"She says, "I heard you tell your father."

SantaSingh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
"Is this one one one one?", says the voice. "No, this is eleven eleven."
"Are you sure it isn't one one one one?" "No, this is eleven eleven."
"Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night."
"That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."

Why couldn't the Sardar write the number "eleven"?
He didn't know which "one" came first...