Eleven Jokes / Recent Jokes

Murphy said to his daughter, "I want you home by eleven o'clock."
She said, "But Father, I'm no longer a child!"
He said, "I know, that's why I want you home by eleven."

Q: If a plane crashed on the border of England and Scotland, where would they bury the survivors?
A: you don`t bury survivors Q: Twelve pears hanging high, twelve men passing by, each took a pear and left eleven hanging there. How can this be? How can eleven pears be left?
A: `Each` is a mans name! Q: If there`s a frog, dead in the centre of a lilypad which is right in the middle of the pond, which side would it jump to?
A: neither, the frog is dead! Q: You`re a bus driver. At the first stop 4 people get on. At the second stop 8 people on, at the third stop 2 people get off and, at the forth stop everyone got off. The question is what color are the bus drivers eyes?
A: The same as yours, you`re the bus driver. Q: What never gets any wetter, no matter how much it rains?
A: The sea! Q: A man went outside in the pouring rain with no protection, but not a hair on his head got wet... how come?
A: He was bald. Q: David`s father has three sons: Snap, Crackle and more...

Murphy said to his daughter, "I want you home by eleven oclock." She said, "But Father, Im no longer a child!" He said, "I know, thats why I want you home by eleven."

Jugnu singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
"is this one one one one?", says the voice.
"no, this is eleven eleven."
"are you sure it isn't one one one one?"
"no, this is eleven eleven."
"well, wrong number. I am harpal calling, sorry to have woken you up in the middle of the night."
"that's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."

Santa Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
"Is this one one one one?", says the voice.
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Are you sure it isn`t one one one one?"
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night."
"That`s all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."

SantaSingh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
"Is this one one one one?", says the voice. "No, this is eleven eleven."
"Are you sure it isn't one one one one?" "No, this is eleven eleven."
"Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night."
"That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."

SantaSingh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
It was Banta Singh."Is this one one one one?", says the voice.
"No,
this is eleven eleven."
"Are you sure it isn't one one one one?"
"No,
this is eleven
eleven."
"Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the
night."
"That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."