Elle Jokes

There were these three models going by air to a photo shoot, Elle Mcpherson, Cindy Crawford, and Naomi Campbell.
Halfway through the flight the plane had engine trouble, the pilot warned the girls to assume the crash position, just in case they went down.
Elle put on more make-up saying, "They always rescued the beautiful ones first".
Cindy donned her jewelery claiming, "They would rescue the richest one first", upon which Naomi, threw off all her clothes, pressing herself against the window saying "You're both wrong, the first thing they look for is the Black Box"!

There were these three models going by air to a photo shoot, Elle Mcpherson, Cindy Crawford, and Naomi Campbell.Halfway through the flight the plane had engine trouble, the pilot warned the girls to assume the crash position, just in case they went down.Elle put on more make-up saying, "They always rescued the beautiful ones first".Cindy donned her jewelery claiming, "They would rescue the richest one first", upon which Naomi, threw off all her clothes, pressing herself against the window saying "You're both wrong, the first thing they look for is the Black Box"!

La maitresse demande aux eleves de sa classe de CE1 ce qu'ils veulent faire comme metier lorsqu'ils seront grand:
"Moi je veut etre pompier madame!" reponds Jerome.
"C'est bien Jerome....et toi Mickael?"
"Moi je veux etre policier madame!"
"Ah!...Et toi Marjory?"
"Moi je veux etre maitresse comme vous maitresse!"
"C'est bien Marjory, c'est un tres joli metier..."
Puis elle se tourne vers Toto, au dernier rang, The Le Cancre de la classe:
"Et toi Toto?"
"Moi je veux etre grand rocker maitresse!"
"Ah...Et c'est quoi 'grand rocker' Toto?"
"Grand rocker, c'est le blouson en cuir, la moto, les salopes..." et PAFFFFF!!! Toto se ramasse une grande claque dans la gueule et se met a pleurer... A la fin de la journee, Toto rentre chez lui et raconte toute l'histoire a ses parents: "....et je lui ai dit que je voulait etre grand rocker et elle m'a more...

Elle, Helena and Naomi were on their first plane flight together. In the middle of the flight, the pilot warns them of severe storms and the worst weather conditions and the possibility that the plane may crash. The girls were all anxious and thought their plane may crash.

They all rush to put their seat belts on and Elle is busy unbuttoning her blouse and showing her cleavage. Helena and Naomi look at her surprised and ask her what she is doing. Elle said, "Well, if the plane crashes and we go down, when the rescuers come, they will notice my lovely breasts and rescue me first."

Helena then gets out her compact and starts putting on her make up and brushes her hair. Elle and Naomi ask her what she's doing and say its a waste of time, especially since they are going to crash. Helena then said, "Well, when the plane crashes, we go down and the rescuers arrive, they will notice I am the most beautiful girl and they will rescue me more...

Une portugaise va au ski pour la premiere fois et prend un moniteur.
Le premier jour, le moniteur lui fait descendre une toute petite pente, elle se debrouille comme une reine. Le deuxieme jour, elle tente la _vraie_ verte, toujours impeccable. Le troisieme jour, une bleue, toujours parfait... Et au bout de la semaine, elle skie partout. Le moniteur lui dit: " Demain, Consuela, on monte en haut de la station... et puis TOUT SCHUSS!!! " La portugaise lui repond: " Moi, i