Empties Jokes / Recent Jokes

On Christmas Eve, a young boy with light in his eyes
Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise
And said as he sat on Santa's broad knee,
"I want your secret. Tell it to me."
He leaned up and whispered in Santa's good ear
"How do you do it, year after year?"
"I want to know how, as you travel about,
Giving gifts here and there, you never run out.
How is it, Dear Santa, that in your pack of toys
You have plenty for all of the world's girls and boys?
Stays so full, never empties, as you make your way
around the whole world, The reindeer pulling your sleigh
From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large and small,
From nation to nation, reaching them all?"
And Santa smiled kindly and said to the boy,
"Don't ask me hard questions. Don't you want a toy?"
But the child shook his head, and Santa could see
That he needed the answer. "Now listen to me,"
He told that small boy more...

On Christmas Eve, a young boy with light in his eyes
Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise
And said as he sat on Santa's broad knee,
"I want your secret. Tell it to me."
He leaned up and whispered in Santa's good ear
"How do you do it, year after year?"
"I want to know how, as you travel about,
Giving gifts here and there, you never run out.
How is it, Dear Santa, that in your pack of toys
You have plenty for all of the world's girls and boys?
Stays so full, never empties, as you make your way
around the whole world, The reindeer pulling your sleigh
From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large and small,
From nation to nation, reaching them all?"
And Santa smiled kindly and said to the boy,
"Don't ask me hard questions. Don't you want a toy?"
But the child shook his head, and Santa could see
That he needed the answer. "Now listen to me,"
He more...

A guy is hunting bear and spots one in some bushes and blasts away. He goes to investigate but sees no bear. Then something taps him on the shoulder and he turns to see the bear. The bear asks: "Don't you know this is not bear hunting season?"
The guy says "Yes, I know."
The bear takes his rifle and smashes it on a rock, then throws the guy across a tree trunk, pulls his pants down and does it to him. Then he tells the guy "Get out of here. I don't want to see you again."
The guy is incensed and hurries back to town and buys the biggest bear rifle he can find and goes back into the forest. Soon he spots the bear and empties the rifle. He looks for the bear but no body. Then the tap on the shoulder and the bear tells him: "I told you not to come back."
He smashes the new rifle, throws him on the ground and gives it to him again. Then he says: "This is the last time I'm warning you. Don't come back."
This time the guy more...