Empty Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge? They are for those who don't drink!

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with more...

Bill and Hillary were married for 40 years.
When they first got married Bill said,
"I am putting a box under the bed.
You must promise never to look in it."

In all their 40 years of marriage Hillary never looked.
However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary
curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid
and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans
and $1874. 25 in cash.

She closed the box and put it back under the bed.

Now that she knew what was in the box,
she was doubly curious as to why. That evening they
were out for a special dinner. After dinner Hillary
could no longer contain her curiosity and

she confessed, saying,"I am so sorry. For all these
years I kept my promise and never looked into the
box under our bed.

However today the temptation was too much and I gave in.
But now I need to know why do you,
keep the cans in more...

When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill said, "I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it."

In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside.

In the box there were 3 empty beer cans and $1, 874. 25 in cash.

After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her guilt and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked in the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box?"

Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess that after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."

Hillary was more...

God sends no one away empty, except those who are full of themselves.

A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked.
However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer bottles and $1954. 25 in small bills. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why.
That evening they were out for a special dinner at their favorite restaurant. After dinner the woman could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked. However today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the bottles in the box?"
The man thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these more...

Bob received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realized the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field!
About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line. He decided to take a chance and made his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man said "No."
Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob said to the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?!"
The man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together more...