Endowed Jokes

Great news for girl watchers: Ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered.
According to the New England Journal of Medicine, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30 minute aerobics workout," declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Bouncer
Dr. Bouncer and fellow researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, reached the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients - half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so.
The study revealed that after five years, the chest watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease.
"Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation," explains Dr. Bouncer. "There's no question: Gazing at large more...

The abundantly endowed starlet had just stepped out of the bathtub in her hotel suite and was about to reach for a towel when she caught sight of a window washer taking in all of her charms. The starlet, too stunned to move, stood staring at the man.
"Whatcha lookin' at, lady?" he finally asked. "Aintcha never seen a window washer before?"

A virgin girl gets married to a guy who's supposed to rather well endowed. She explains this to her new husband who tells her he knows how to get round the situation which is to show her his dick, bit by bit. The wife lies in bed and sees three inches of dick come round the door. "Are you nervous yet?" says her husband. "No, I'm OK." she replies. Another six inches of dick comes around the door and he asks, "Are you still OK?" "Yes" she replies. A further foot comes around the door and she says, "I'm still not nervous." "OK," her husband replies, "I'm just starting up the stairs."

System 7 is like going out on a bad date. Your date is expensive and at
the end of the night you don't even get a good-night kiss.
DOS is like going out with an ugly girl except you know what your up
against, so you can work around it.
Windows is like going out with the same ugly girl but this time she is
wearing make-up.
Linux is like going out with an ugly girl but you tell all your friends
she is pretty.
Unix is like going out with a ugly girl but she is good in bed.
OS/2 is like going out with a beautiful girl but you have to be well
endowed to get anywhere.
NeXT is like going out with a super model only to find out she speaks
another language and only she knows that language.
VMS is like going out with your Mom.
Chicago is like going out on a blind date. All your friends hype her up
and say that she is better than anyone else you have dated but in the end she
turns out to be ugly.
NT is like trying going out with more...

A man who is overly endowed, so much so that he has a 25 inch penis which is causing him a great deal of problems, goes to see his doctor for help.
"Medically, there is nothing I can do to help you," the doctor says, "but I do know a witch that may be able to help." The doctor then gives him the directions to where he can find the witch.
The witch stares at the man's problem in amazement and then instructs him to go deep into the forest where he will find a pond. "In this pond," the witch says, "you will find a frog. Ask the frog to marry you. Each time the frog says no, your problem will be 5 inches shorter."
Thinking it was definitely worth a try, the man heads off into the forest, finds the pond and sees the frog sitting on a log. "Will you marry me?" he shouts out to the frog.
The frog looks at him, totally disinterested, and shouts back "No!" He immediately looks down and, sure enough, he's 5 inches more...