Engineering Jokes / Recent Jokes

You are an engineer... If you know how to take the cover off of your computer and what size screw driver to use.

An engineering student is walking along when a fellow student arrives on a new bicycle. Impressed, he asks, "Where did you get this beautiful bicycle?"

"Well," the second engineering student says, "A couple of days ago I was just walking along when this gorgeous blonde pulls up, hops off the bike, rips off all her clothes, and says' 'take what you want''."

The other engineering student nods and says "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn''t have fit."

You are an engineer... If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting.

You are an engineer... If you can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.

You are an engineer... If people groan at the party when you pick out the music.

These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world."That race was all about competition." - David Coleman, ITV "And I can see the strong wind blowing the sun towards us." - Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3 Mark Goodier: What's the name of the company you work for? Listener: Mining and Engineering Services. Mark Goodier: So, what kind of work do they do; is it mining and engineering services? - BBC Radio 1 "Marling - unbeaten in her three victories." Peter O'Sullivan, BBC2 TV: "Both drivers are fundamentally wearing white helmets." James Hunt, BBC2 TV: "A church spire nestling among the trees... there's probably a church there too." - Richie Benaud, BBC2 TV

You are an engineer... If everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room.