Engineering Jokes / Recent Jokes
Hi, I've been studyinbg Engineering @ Coimbatore for a year now. This thesis is from my experiance.
These laws have been proven to be accurate during an experiment using 21 malayalee Engineering students of Tamil Nadu, India.
1) The amount of time taken to study for a paper is inversely proportional to the marks obtained in that paper.
2) The amount of notes distributed by a lecturer corresponds inversely to the actual knowledge of that person on the subject.
3) The lecturer is always wrong, the only exception being when the person is reading from a text.
4) At any point of time, the deadline to submit a paper always comes two days ahead of the required time.
5) No matter how long you stare at the monitor, the Mailbox will not load in your college lab system until your allocated time is over.
6) Your code will develop errors only when a faculty member is within 5 mts of your person.
7) The amount of internal marks granted to a student is more...
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did
you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful
woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her
clothes and said, "Take what you want.""The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't have fit."
Q: What is the fundamental principle of engineering mathematics?
A: Every function has a Taylor series which converges to the function and breaks off after the linear term.
Q: How many engineering students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the rest of the class copies the report.
On a train to a large computer convention there were a bunch of computer programmers and a bunch of computer engineers. Each of the engineers had a train ticket. The group of programmers had only ONE ticket for all of them.
The engineers started laughing, figuring the programmers were going to get caught and thrown off the train. When one of the programmers, the lookout said "here comes the conductor", all of the programmers went into the bathroom. The engineers were puzzled.
The conductor came aboard, said "tickets please" and got tickets from all the computer engineers. He then went to the bathroom and knocked on the door and said "ticket please". The programmers stuck the ticket under the door. The conductor took it and moved on. A few minutes later the programmers came out of the bathroom. The computer engineers felt really stupid.
On the way back from the convention, the group of engineers decided that they would try that method, too. more...
At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software how many of you would disembark immediately?"
Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard.
With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
Glossary Terms-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-Software Engineering Glossary of Product TerminologyNEW: Different colors from previous version. ALL NEW: Software is not compatible with previous version. UNMATCHED: Almost as good as the competition. ADVANCED DESIGN: Upper management doesn't understand it. NO MAINTENANCE: Impossible to fix. BREAKTHROUGH: It finally booted on the first try. DESIGN SIMPLICITY: Developed on a shoe-string budget. UPGRADED: Did not work the first time. UPGRADED AND IMPROVED: Did not work the second time. The Dumpty Dictionary, Version 2. 0