England Jokes / Recent Jokes

If King Kong came to England why would he live in the Tower of London? Because he's a beef-eater.

The kings of Spain, France, and England all stand on stage together in front of their nations all ready to see who of the three has the largest penis. The king of Spain takes his out and as they all see the impressive proportions all the Spanish people shout: "Viva Espania!"The king of France is next and as his is even larger, all the French scream: "Vive la France!"Next comes the king of England, and just as he drops his pants and takes his out, everyone exclaims: "God save the Queen!"

A Scotsman went on a week`s holiday to England. He took a clean shirt and a five pound note with him. When he arrived home he hadn`t changed either of them.

The kings of Spain, France, and England all stand on stage together in front of their nations all ready to see who of the three has the largest penis.
The king of Spain takes his out and as they all see the impressive proportions all the Spanish people shout: "Viva Espania!"
The king of France is next and as his is even larger, all the French scream: "Vive la France!"
Next comes the king of England, and just as he drops his pants and takes his out, everyone exclaims: "God save the Queen!"

Santa Is Going To England. How Will You Make Him Sit On The Middle Seat? By Telling Him That Only The Middle Seats Are Going To England

There was a long drought in Central Africa. The witch doctor had tried all his rainmaking dances, imprecations, but to no avail.

One of the elders observed that rain was never a problem in England, so why not send the witch doctor to London to learn the secret.

Off he went to England, learned the secret, and returned to the tribe.

He informed the leaders that these crazy white men had a big paddock of grass enclosed by a white picket fence.

In the middle were two lots of sticks driven into the ground. Two men, each with a club, stood next to these sticks and waited for a lot of other men to spread themselves all over the paddock. Then two more men, wearing black trousers, four sweaters and six hats, came out to keep a close watch on the men with the clubs. Then one man got a red rock and threw it at one of the fellers with a club. AND DOWN CAME THE RAIN!

An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, "Englander, your arm is infected with gangrene we must cut it off."
The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing."
The German replied, "Ya, that vill not be a problem."
A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over England like you did last time."
"Ya, that will be done," says the German.
The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before."
The German replies, " ya."
The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well," begins the Brit, "could you just..."
The German snapped, more...