Enormous Jokes / Recent Jokes

Did you know, I was reading about an enormous factory in the USA where there is only ONE MAN working - I know what you're thinking - we've got enormous factories where NOBODY'S working - but this one is different - it's got an end product: it is completely automated to make torch batteries, and the only employee is an old rabbi who stands at the end of the conveyor belt and as the batteries go past he says, "I wish you long life! I wish you long life!"

An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven legs walked into a tailors shop.' Quick!' shouted the tailor to his assistant.' Hide the "Free Alterations" sign!'

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The Coroner calls the Police Inspector to tell him what happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the Coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds in the lottery, spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the enormous smile."
The Inspector asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the Coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob, the redneck from Alabama, 30, struck by lightning while bass fishing."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his picture taken."

Did you know, I was reading about an enormous factory in the USA where there is only ONE MAN working - I know what you're thinking - we've got enormous factories where NOBODY'S working - but this one is different - it's got an end product: it is completely automated to make torch batteries, and the only employee is an old rabbi who stands at the end of the conveyor belt and as the batteries go past he says, "I wish you long life! I wish you long life!"

A buxom blonde wore, at a charity ball, an enormous diamond. "It happens to be the third most famous diamond in the whole world," she boasted. "The first is the Hope Diamond, then comes the Kohinoor, and then comes this one, which is called Lipshitz.""What a diamond!""How lucky you are!""Wait, wait, nothing in life is all mazel ", said the diamonded lady, "Unfortunately, with this famous Lipshitz diamond you must take the famous Lipshitz curse!"The ladies buzzed and asked, "And what's the Lipshitz curse?""Lipshitz," sighed the lady.

SIEM REAP, CAMBODIA--The paint is barely dry on the new Siem Reap Barnes & Noble, a gleaming, $6 million, 60, 000-square-foot book store/coffeehouse that the American bookselling giant boasts is the finest in this rural village of 2, 100. But already a serious question is being raised: Can the new bookstore--with its enormous selection, discount prices and chic espresso bar--peacefully co-exist with smaller, independently owned bookstores in the area? Store manager Amy Kleinert believes the answer is yes. "Barnes & Noble's presence will help local book sales," said Kleinert, who was previously regional manager for Barnes & Noble's Seattle-area stores. "Our store will stimulate an interest in reading, which can only be a good thing for all area book sellers." Less optimistic is Tuel Cheng, a used-book dealer and small-press operator who was recently forced out of business. "Hun Sen's troops came in the night to burn my books and smashed my son's skull on the more...