Enron Jokes

An Arthur Anderson partner comes back to his office and says to his manager, "Did you get my message where I said,' Ship the Enron documents to the Feds'?" The manager goes white. "Oh My God! I thought you said rip the Enron documents to shreds."

Dear Friends:
Now that the holiday season has passed, please look into your heart to help those in need.
Enron executives in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level... right here in the land of plenty. And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will be deprived of it as a result of the bankruptcy and current SEC investigation.
BUT NOW YOU CAN HELP!
For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help an Enron executive remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem, as it barely covers their per diem,... but it's a start!
Almost $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to an Enron exec it could mean the difference between a vacation spent kissing political asses in DC, golfing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than rent, a car note or mortgage more...

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
Communism: You have two cows. You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
Enron Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt-equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred through an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The Enron annual report says the company owns eight cows, more...

An Arthur Anderson partner comes back to his office and says to his manager, "Did you get my message where I said, Ship the Enron documents to the Feds?"The manager goes white. "Oh My God! I thought you said rip the Enron documents to shreds."

Feudalism
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Fascism
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take
care of them and sells you the milk.
Communism
You have two cows. You must take care of them, but the government
takes all the milk.
Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd
multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
Enron Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the
bank, then execute a debt-equity swap with an associated general offer
so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five
cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred through an
intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed
company. more...