Enter Jokes / Recent Jokes

MICROSOFT TV DINNER PRODUCT INSERT
Unknown
You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you
agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV
dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner
(which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's
rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your
dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.
If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the
oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes:
Then enter:
|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme>.
If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start.
The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.
Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which
case your oven must be restarted. This is a simple
procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven and enter
. This process
may have to be repeated. Try unplugging the microwave and
then doing a cold reboot. If this more...

There were 3 men waiting to enter Heaven. Before they were allowed to enter, St. Peter asked each man individually, "Tell me, what is the meaning of Easter?"
The first man said, "Uh, isn't Easter the holiday when all you family Gets together to eat turkey and then you all watch football afterwards?"
St. Peter shook his head. "No, no, no... that's not what Easter is."
So St. Peter walked over to the second man and asked, "Tell me, what is the meaning of Easter?"
The second man replied, "Easter is that holiday where you set up a tree And decorate it and that man in the funny red suit comes down the chimney and..."
St. Peter cut him off. "No, no, no, that's not what Easter is either."
St. Peter was feeling very discouraged. Did anybody know what Easter was? He walked over to the third man and asked, "Tell me, what is the meaning Of Easter."
The third man answered, "Easter is the holiday more...

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and will use each time he has to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.

So when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in....

P...

E...

N...

I...

S...

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***

A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and finds that St. Peter is not there, but a computer terminal is sitting next to the arch. He walks up to it and sees "Welcome to www.Heaven.com. Please enter your User ID and Password to continue." He doesn't have either, but underneath the fields is a small line reading: "Forgot your ID or Password? Click Here." So he does.Up pops a screen which reads, "Please enter at least two of the following, and your pasword and ID will be e-mailed to you." The fields include "Name," "Date of birth," "Date of death," and "Favorite Food."The man enters his name and date of birth, and clicks "Submit."Up pops another screen which reads, "We are sorry, we did not find a match in our database. Would you like to register?" So the man clicks the button marked "Yes."A long and detailed form appears on the screen, and the man spends some time filling it out. Then he more...

A bus load of school girls on a picnic in England met with an accident and all went to heaven. The next day morning they were all waiting in line to enter the Pearly Gate. Father Saint Peter looked at the girls waving the cane and said “You are going to answer a question before you can enter. ”
“Mary” he addressed the girl in front. “Have you ever come in contact with a man’s penis”. She got blushed and went red, but said meekly, “Father once I touched one with my finger tips”. “OK”, said Saint Peter, “Dip your finger in that holy water and go in. ”
He asked the second girl, “Sandy, have you ever touched a man’s penis”. She too got blushed but said, “Yes father, once I took my boy friend’s dick in my hand”. “OK” said father Saint Peter. “Wash your hand in that holy water and go in. ”
Suddenly there was a commotion in the line and the girl at the end came rushing through the line. “What seems to be the rush Lisa” Saint more...

One day, a teacher, a garbage collector and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into an iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and decided to make the question a little harder, "How many people died on the ship?"

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, "About 1,500."

"That's right! You may enter." St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."

You must first remove the plastic cover, but understand that it means agreeing to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights). They may, however, smell and look at your dinner. You must tell them how good it is.
If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes: You then enter: . If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.
Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners are subject to frequent crashes, in which case your oven must be restarted. This is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner from the oven and enter . This process may have to be repeated, and might solve your problem.
Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of which are empty. Microsoft says these more...