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Instructions for the guys:1. Pull up to ATM2. Insert Card3. Enter PIN4. Take cash, card and receipt5. Drive awayInstructions for the Gals:1. Pull up to ATM2. Back up and pull forward to get closer3. Shut off engine4. Put keys in purse5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine6. Hunt for card in purse7. Insert card8. Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it9. Enter PIN10. Study instructions11. Hit "CANCEL"12. Re-enter correct PIN13. Check balance14. Look for envelope15. Look in purse for pen16. Make out deposit slip17. Endorse checks18. Make deposit19. Study instructions20. Make cash withdrawal21. Get in car 22. Check makeup23. Look for keys24. Start car25. Check makeup26. Start pulling away27. Stop28. Back up to machine29. Get out of car30. Take card and receipt31. Get back in car32. Put card in wallet33. Put receipt in checkbook34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook36. Check makeup37. Put more...
Three people arrive at the gates of heaven and St. Peter greeted them. "Welcome to Heaven. We have simplified the process of admission, and all you need to do to get into Heaven is pass a simple test. Are you ready?"
The first person said, "I've prepared for this moment for 73 years."
"Okay," said St. Peter, "spell' God'."
"G-O-D."
"Very good, enter your eternal reward."
"That was easier than I thought it would be," the second person said, "I'll take my test now."
"Okay," said St. Peter, "spell' love'."
"L-O-V-E."
"Excellent, enter your eternal reward."
The third person, a lawyer, said, "Boy, is this is gonna be a snap. Give me my test."
"Okay," said St. Peter, "spell' prorhipidoglossomorpha'."
HIS:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Insert card
3. Enter PIN and account
4. Take cash, card and receipt
5. Drive away
HERS:
1. Pull up to ATM
2. Back up and pull forward to get closer
3. Shut off engine
4. Put keys in purse
5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine
6. Hunt for card in purse
7. Insert card
8. Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it.
9. Enter PIN
10. Study instructions.
11. Hit "cancel"
12. Re-enter correct PIN
13. Check balance
14. Look for envelope
15. Look in purse for pen
16. Make out deposit slip
17. Endorse checks
18. Make deposit
19. Study instructions
20. Make cash withdrawal
21. Get in car
22. Check makeup
23. Look for keys
24. Start car
25. Check makeup
26. Start pulling away
27. Stop
28. Back up to machine
29. Get out of car
30. Take card and more...
THREE people from different parts of the country passed away at the same time. They all went up to heaven and were met at the gate by Saint Peter. The first person was an architect. "I'd like to come in, please," he told the saint.
"All in good time," replied Saint Peter. "But first you have to pass one small test. You have to spell'God.' "
"Oh, that's easy. . . G-o-d," he said.
"Very good, very good," said Saint Peter. "Come on in."
The second person to approach was a rancher. "I'd sure like to enter," he said.
"All in good time," replied Saint Peter. "But first you have to pass a little test. All you have to do is spell'God.' "
"Simple," said the man. "G-o- d."
"Very good, you can come in."
Then the third person, an attractive businesswoman, approached.
"I'd like to enter, please."
"Well," said more...
His
Pull up to ATM
Insert card
Enter PIN and account
Take cash, card and receipt
Drive away
Hers
Pull up to ATM
Back up and pull forward to get closer
Shut off engine
Put keys in purse
Get out of car because you're too far from machine
Hunt for card in purse
Insert card
Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it
Enter PIN
Study instructions
Hit "cancel"
Re-enter correct PIN
Check balance
Look for envelope
Look in purse for pen
Make out deposit slip
Endorse checks
Make deposit
Study instructions
Make cash withdrawal
Get in car
Check makeup
Look for keys
Start car
Check makeup
Start pulling away
Stop
Back up to machine
Get out of car
Take card and receipt
Get back in car
Put card in wallet
Put receipt in checkbook
Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook
Clear area in purse for wallet and more...
It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois.(Dumb Laws - Illinois)
Boys
1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser.
2. Insert card
3. Dial code and desired amount
4. Take the cash, the card and the slip
Girls
1. Drive to the bank
2. Engine stalled
3. Check make-up in the mirror
4. Apply perfume
5. Manually check haircut
6. Park the car - failure
7. Park the car - failure
8. Park the car - Success
9. Search for the card in the handbag
10. Insert card, rejected by the machine
11. Throw phone card back in handbag,
12. Look for bank card.
13. Insert Card
14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written)in Handbag
15. Enter code
16. Study instructions for 2 minutes
17. Cancel
18. Re-enter code
19. Cancel
20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code
21. Enter desired amount
22. Error
23. Enter bigger amount
24. Error
25. Enter maximum amount
26. Cross fingers
27. Take more...